The Goddess Reborn
by taviasons3
Summary: Calliope is reborn as Azalea, an orphan in Chicago, who doesn't have a clue what she's doing with her life-when she meets Walter. He more mysterious and alluring that she can handle, but she can't seem to stop thinking about him...
1. Prologue

The Goddess Reborn

Prologue

Walter

He lay awake, dry-eyes staring relentlessly at the gold ceiling, unable to rest. The woman beside him shifted and mumbled something, dreaming. He looked upon her beauty, waiting for her to still. When she finally settled, he got up, pulled on his robe and stood, walking to his balcony. It looked down upon the entire world. His entire world. He could see every little human life from his vantage point. They were small, weak, and a selfish people; yet, in secret, he envied that they could live their lives so freely, with no fear. He himself was not granted this privilege. Feelings expose your weaknesses, and after an eternity of fearing and loving your own family, you learn to block such emotion. These were the only lessons his father managed to get through his thick skull.

But as of the last two decades, this is all he can call himself.

Weak.

And when he is alone, which is always after the sun sets on the infinite horizon, you can see the prideful man leave his body and slip away with the sun. His eyes become heavy with sorrow and begin to mist over as if he is lost in the past and will never emerge. On these arduous nights, he ages a million years and loses all sight of his true identity. Whoever that might be…. He has long forgotten.

Over the past twenty years and however many months, his heart has felt ripped apart, exposed to the manipulation and cruelties of love and war. The pain would not cease. His wife was killed, gone into the abyss of absent afterlife. She may have recently left him alone, but in reality she had been dead for quite some time. That strong and prideful, yet amazing woman disappeared just years after their wedding. His family, especially his sisters, blamed her loss of sanity on his infidelity. He could not bring himself to regret these affairs when they brought him his beloved children and, in turn, his power and stature at the head of the council. He thinks of it quite like a game of chess. He was merely better and more willing than the rest of his siblings in the game.

Though now, as his sits in his sunset tower, he is reminded that his daughter's children were growing in number. He had allowed Kate's first son onto the council because he figured that was enough, but they were on their fourth child and he still didn't have it in him to deny her, after all that he had done. They were not, of course, close enough to usurp his stronghold but they were very loved by his own children. This he feared this greatly. They had pasted the tests fit for a god, created by his own wife. He recalled that the youngest still had not taken the tests. If she even would…. Her mother absolutely coveted her and he could not imagine that light spirit being tested on anything other than how to sit still and quiet.

He sat pondering this for a while. Though he would never admit it to himself, one of Kate's twins—Mary-reminded him so of one of his own daughters. He believed that she would make a good candidate for the position of the goddess of love. But these thoughts would never be voiced aloud…he was not ready to allow one of these children even further into his ranks. They already were too powerful.

Ava.

He missed her light, happiness, and ability to love unconditionally. But she was gone as well, with Calliope. Never to be seen or heard of again. Into the universe of starlight and cosmic dust, leaving nothing behind but memories and physical possessions. But those meant nothing to him now. Not when they brought him such despicable sadness.

Secretly he knew he would not do anything about these children because he rather enjoyed their presence. He has not had young children around in quite some time and he forgot how much he loved the noise and distraction they create.

The woman he had bedded—Natalie—came up from behind him and wrapped her thin arms around his waist. He barely spared her a glance. She purred and curled her perfect lips, "Come back to bed, Walter." He realized then how tense he was, so he took a breath and relaxed so she did not feel threatened. The girl took this as encouragement and giggled. She was beautiful. Unearthly so. But that was all he cared about. Her body. He kept her here as a distraction, though sadly, she probably did not think that.

She gently pulled his thick arms away from the railing with her own tiny ones. He reluctantly turned to face her. She kissed his chest, which she was eye-level with, and lowered to her knees in front of him. She opened his robe and pleasured him as she had too many times before. When she was finished, he told her to leave him. She did so, though in an irritated manner.

He turned back to the sky and earth and sighed. The sky was slowly becoming a lighter color. He turned from the rising sun he had seen too many times, pulled himself together, and continued on with this repetitive routine of his life.

He was surprised as he came into the warm common room to find Henry's family and the rest of Walter's own all talking in a low hum. The last they visited was…. He tried to recall how long it had been. Longer than usual perhaps.

"Walter, so glad you could grace us with your presence," said my sister, Diane.

"Did I offend?" He wasn't quite sure why her tone was so sarcastic, it was just passed midday and he had been wandering the skies, tending to his realm.

She rolled her eyes but looked concerned at the same time. Her hands were settled on her hips in a very disapproving way. "I told you explicitly to be here for Henry and Kate's arrival just yesterday, Walter. Don't you remember?" He did. Now. "Must have slipped my mind," he said gruffly. Now, only if some other things would vacate my mind with that much ease….

Kate approached with her usually cordiality. Her husband and my brother, Henry was not far behind. "Hello, Walter." She smiled politely, but he could see the concern in her piercing blue eyes. It was always there when she looked at him. She and Henry had stayed young, choosing to look roughly twenty-five years of age. If you took one look at their little family, you would think they were all siblings. She hugged him awkwardly but he could tell it was genuine. "How are you?"

He smiled, but slight tug at the corner of his mouth was all he could manage. "I am fine." Lie. "How are you?"

She smiled wearily but joyfully. "I'm exhausted, but I couldn't be happier." She looked fondly behind her at all of his grandchildren and children mixed together.

Her eldest, Milo, stood tall, handsome, and older next to his mate, Bryn. Bryn's brother, Marcellus, was Milo's best friend and wandered about laughing joyfully with everyone in the room. Kate's twin girls, Mary and Luce, stood side by side as always. Mary spoke to Walter's son, James; they had been best friends since she was young. Luce stood with Walter's closest brother, Phillip. The youngest, Penelope, stood behind Milo so silently, Walter almost didn't know she was there. She looked about the tender age of fifteen, but she was actually about seventeen. They had all fit in with our family very easily. They were perfect. Perhaps too perfect….Though Walter no longer had it in him to care very much.

The absence of his wife and daughter always daunted him at these family gatherings, causing him to dislike them more and more.

As everyone fell into their own conversation, his brother, Henry drifted over to him.

"Walter, please do not take offense, but you don't look 'fine'." Henry said quietly to him in their spot a bit away from everyone else. "I fear that you hurt more than you care to admit."

His brother was too watchful for him to believe that Henry would fall for the mask that he bore. Those silver eyes saw through everything. "Henry, I do not wish to speak of me. Let us speak of the position on our council that still remains empty." He turned to look Henry in the eye, challenging him. "Has Kate yet to find a goddess to replace Ava?" It pained him to say this name but he would not falter.

Henry looked at him with a slight sadness. "No." Walter raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Walter, you know precisely why. If you did not, you would have taken this duty upon yourself long ago. It pains her."

"We do not have time for this. This throne has been open for twenty years and I cannot stand to look at it any longer. I want a goddess in that damn chair by next year," he said roughly. He hated to say it so crudely but it had to be done.

Henry's brow furrowed slightly and he looked over at Kate. "I will try to push her, but I can make no promises. And nor should you considering you have not yet found a queen." He gaze returned to Walter again. His moonlight eyes suggested he knew all of Walter's secrets. And perhaps he did. Walter felt too exposed to hide everything at once. Walter had become younger, about twenty-five, so he could find a new queen easier. Henry had become about eighteen when he met Kate, so Walter did the same.

Sighing, Walter wearily turned to leave. He had had too much. Perhaps he would travel down to earth and continue his impossible task of finding a queen in a world full of millions of frogs.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Azalea

I ran down the stairs simultaneously throwing on my jean jacket, holding my bag, and gripping my keys between my teeth. Don't be late, don't be late, don't be late. I tripped over my golden retriever, Ky, who was too preoccupied with getting my attention to actually care about being stepped on.

When I finally managed to collect myself, I got into my cream-colored Volkswagen Bug. Littlehales' was on the edge of Chicago, so I would be fine; I just had to make sure I didn't hit the 8:30 train across Salk Trail.

I thought about my dream again; the same ones I've had since…forever. I dreamt about a man-though I can never remember quite what his face is like-and my alarm starts ringing. But I don't wake up, I just keep dreaming with this obnoxious beep in the background. It's bad enough to have these horrible dreams about…well I can never remember what they're about, but I always wake up gasping for air and with a dull pain of sadness in my chest.

I parked in the dingy, little parking lot behind the shop. Checking my watch, it was only 8:24-6 more minutes to spare. I smiled to myself, wrapped my red scarf tighter around my face, and walked up to the backdoor of Littlehale's Coffee Shop.

It was tiny, and honestly, you probably wouldn't know it was there the first few times you passed it. But this was what made it so special to me. It was a mere doorway between a feminine boutique and a music shop. You didn't have random schmucks coming into Littlehale's looking for a quick, Starbucks' pickup. The people that came in were generally the regulars, and they stayed in the comfy booths to savor that perfect blend of coffee. Johnny, the poor guy that came in every once in a while, was so sweet, and had a wife and kids that he was having trouble supporting. I always gave him a hot coffee in the winter and an iced in the summer, for free. Lydia, the fortune teller, occasionally gave me a reading for a Caramel Brule latte. The elderly couple, Sara and Sam: mint tea and a regular coffee (extra sugar). Michelle, a crazy French woman; chai tea latte. Every one of them was special. And as I walk into this shop every morning, I remember why I stayed in Chicago, rather than follow in my brother's footsteps and attend college.

Jogging up the narrow and tiny steps to that worn green door, I pulled it open and took a deep breath of that unique smell of too many spices and embraced the sound of the early birds humming their morning stories to fellow coffee-drinkers.

"Taz, you're on time!" Ever Littlehale, being an adorable five-foot-one with a halo of long white hair and the sweetest smile you'd ever see was like my mother/grandmother. Considering that my mother dropped me off on the streets as a baby, I never knew her, let alone my father. Ever and her husband, Jeff found me and took me to an orphanage, then a foster home here in Wicker Park. I wanted to leave and live with them but I had to stay there for school. But whenever school was out I would run the three blocks to Littlehale's and watch them make all that coffee. They tried to discourage me not to come but I couldn't stay away; no one at the foster home liked me. Not even Danielle, the middle-aged woman who ran it. So I mastered the art of sneaking out and stayed with them. Sometimes I even slept over in their apartment upstairs, in Charlie's room. Charles was their son. He had gone off to college in Virginia and they never moved his things out. Like he had never left. I guess that would a big reason why they let me stay over so much. I filled that empty place in their hearts and their home. But when I was twelve, Jeff died of a heart attack. Gran never got over it. She lost her best friend. She still wears her ring and has never sold the coffee shop, even when she was having trouble with it financially. It was all she had left of her little family. Besides me and Charlie, of course.

Even after 20 years of being with her, I was still here. I didn't want to leave; I hadn't even applied to colleges yet….

I smiled and remarked, "Well, if I still lived with you two, I wouldn't be late now would I?"

Gran kicked me out when I was 18 because she wanted me to get out in the world, not be stuck in this little café for the rest of my life. But she offered me a job here because she couldn't get rid of me completely. We were family. Either way I'd be happy so I went along with it. Plus I was allowed to finally get a dog, which had always been a dream of mine since going over to Jennifer Turner's house in the sixth grade and meeting her golden retriever, Mickey. I think I was more interested in the dog than her.

"Oh please, sweetheart, you're not still bitter about that?" she said playfully. I laughed and took of my coat off, placing it on the hook next to the green door.

"'Course not, but judging by my being late, you should be."

Gran was the only one who knew about my dreams, nightmares, whatever you call 'em. She was the one that got me off to school on time every day and soothed me after my dreams scared me senseless. The dreams were just another part of our odd relationship, I suppose.

"I just thought you'd grow out of your dreams as you got older," Gran commented as I put on an apron and she handed coffee to an early customer.

I frowned and sat on the counter, watching her set up. "If anything they've gotten worse. It's not even the nightmares; it's the fact that I can't remember them that frustrates me."

"Hmm," she mumbled vaguely. I didn't expect much out of her seeing that we'd had this conversation more times than I could count. She gave me a withering look that said, "How many times have I told you to stop sitting on the counters?" I rolled my eyes and got down, getting to work.

After about an hour of setting up and delivering the regulars their coffee on this cool, autumn Monday morning, Lydia walked in. She was dressed in her normal attire; a simple but elegant black dress, black stockings, black floppy hat, black trench coat, modest black pumps, and large sunglasses despite the absence of sunlight. She had wheat blond hair down to her shoulders that was refreshing against the black clothing. But the most unique thing was, despite her age of about 50, she was beautiful. Not in the supermodel, Barbie-doll-like way—the natural and clean beauty people spend thousands of dollars trying to imitate.

In my life, I had spent enough time with her to know she was a tough, but good person who had had to go out and work for what she had. I envied her strength because I was never handed anything in my life either. I was definitely not deprived but I was not handed happiness as a child either. She would always tell me stories of her life and when she was done, she would look down at the tiny little girl I once was and would whisper whimsically, "Trust your struggle." I have a tattoo along my right forearm that says precisely that, too.

She takes off her coat and walks over to the counter and smiled in that special way at me, like she knew something I didn't. "Well, hello, dear. How is everything?" I grinned. "On time at least. Good morning, Lydia." I twisted my white-blonde hair in a bun.

Lydia vaguely disapproved of my position with Gran and Pops. She grew up as a strong, independent woman and believed I should do the same. She drops hints here and there that I should move on from Chicago, meet new people, fall in love, make lasting friendships…the whole spiel. I think she sees too much of herself in me. She was also well aware of my morning routine, which she interpreted as me being too lazy or too dependent on Gran to wake me. I just didn't tell her about my dreams. She was a seer, a fortune teller, a psychic; she would probably give me some wacky interpretation of them that wouldn't help at all.

I hand her the Caramel Brule and she proceeded to silkily sit in her booth on the wall by the long and skinny front windows, a ways from the others. I hang my apron and walked over to her since the string of caffeine-junkies has started to dwindle about now.

We exchanged pleasantries as she pulled out her tarot cards. As a child, I always wanted to touch and play with them because they were so beautiful, but now that I've seen them more times than I can count, I have dismissed this urge. Lydia's thin, elegant hands offer the fan of cards to me and she says, "Pick one, darling." I do. And lay the dark card face up in front of me. It displays a vague picture of books or a library.

Lydia smiles up at me softly. "Ah…yes. Knowledge." She cradles my hand in hers and closes her eyes. "You have lived in a state of confusion for too long. The fates have decided to bring you clarity. But it will only come with time and patience…and perhaps a bit of compassion." I furrowed my brow. I knew better than to interrupt her, though. She never answered my questions anyway.

I picked another card from her manicured hands. This one did not display a picture—just bright colors, mostly yellow. She looked at the card and spoke in her usual smoky tone, "This is a more vague idea but I am sensing more of a friendship feel. You will build new relationships and find a new sense of happiness, outside of your current life. You'll discover new places and new people." She said this last part like it brought her personal satisfaction.

The last card was very bright as well but in a pinky, girly way. It seemed to feature a curvy woman. Despite not having a face or any clothes, you could tell she was supposed to be beautiful. Lydia chuckled breathily looked up at me in amusement, and purred, "Aphrodite." Oh …. "Goddess of Love…. Well, Miss Azalea Littlehale, it seems there is a man in your future."

As I cleaned up for the day at about five, I gave Gran hugs. My head was too far away to stick around and chat; I'd go to the Bluebird instead. Whenever I needed time to myself to think, I'd walk to the Bluebird café and sing. Usually I would go to the ballet studio and dance; it helped me relax and clear up any stress, but two years ago I got in a car accident and crushed {the major bone} in my thigh. I couldn't dance anymore. I miss it more than anything, especially when I go down there every Sunday. I dress up in my favorite practice clothes and teach some of the lower level lessons. That way I don't have to demonstrate anything too intense. Seeing all those little girls dance and grow into themselves was bitter sweet; I wanted that back. I was absolutely horrified when I learned I couldn't dance anymore. I tried so hard to make it to where I was at my school and it was all gone because of some heavy snow. I wasn't complaining though, it was amazing that I was even walking at this point.

As I jogged down the stairs outside, excited at the prospect of performing a song, I looked down to wrap my red scarf around my neck and button my favorite jean jacket when I plunged right into someone walking on the sidewalk and fell back onto the concrete stairs right on my ass. I gasped on the way down. Ow. I felt my face scrunch in pain, and looked up at the man who trampled me. My mouth dropped to my knees.

Woah. You know how in the movies when two people meet and it's supposedly 'love at first sight'? I don't know a thing about love and I knew this wasn't quite like that but it's the only thing that would explain what I felt.. Time stops, this much is true. I felt an odd sense of overwhelming emotion and something inside me change utterly and completely. The most prominent was the feeling that I recognized this man, like I had known him for my entire existence and his face was one I had loved and cherished…and hated for eternity. A rush of happiness and impossible sorrow flooded and choked me, holding me under. I knew this man so deep in my soul; it was like seeing him awakened something that had been buried in me all along and had never noticed was missing.

I suddenly realized how beautiful this man was. And the expression upon that beautiful face. His wheat blonde hair and facial hair were in a perfect, sexy disarray. But they were cut short enough to look immaculate and long enough that he didn't look like a jock. Those beautiful blue eyes were the ocean and like that ocean they were an endless expanse of all the worlds sorrows and joys. They had the perfect amount of almond-shaped squint to them too, like he was always contemplating you. The bone structure in his face was swoon-worthy and I could just imagine what those curvy lips would feel like on mine, on my neck, on my body….Oh My God, Taz, snap out of it. And I did, and that's when I realized he looked absolutely shell-shock, like he was seeing a ghost. I wondered absentmindedly if I did too. He was scared, confused and… happy? I thought I saw a flash of relief in his eyes but I could not be sure. I was too overwhelmed. But despite this odd, infinite moment-that must have only been a few seconds-time must start again.

Neither of us had said a word in these past few moments since we made eye contact. My mouth was open slightly, like I wanted to say something but I couldn't string the words together.

He reached a hand up to brush something from my cheek. They were tears. As soon as his hand made contact with my skin, I flinched away as I saw…something. Visions that I had seen before, in my dreams. Except this time they were clear and not from my point of view…I saw myself, but it wasn't me at the same time…I was in a dress and had longer hair than I do now. I was ten times as beautiful and held myself differently…. This was not me. Then I saw something else, the same person—me?—was yelling and holding a child swaddled up in a blanket. There was a gut-wrenching pain on her face unlike anything I'd ever seen…

"What was that?" I gasped, pulling my face away from his touch. He blinked down at me as if awaking from a slumber. "Who are you?" I said as an absentminded tear ran down my cheek again, but this time it was from fear. He was now kneeling over me, not just standing over me. I hadn't realized how close we were, our faces only inches apart. I leaned back only slightly. I was afraid but I didn't want him to leave yet.

He took a deep breath and said his first words to me, "Calliope?" His beautiful voice sounded afraid. I didn't want him to be afraid. I wanted to take him in my arms and make him feel better, like Gran always made me feel better. This urge was almost impossible to avoid, but I couldn't move; I was frozen.

"I-I don't…" What was a Calliope? Or…Who? I couldn't even string together a sentence correctly, what the hell was wrong with me?

"I'm sorry, I'm just…confused," he said. I'll say.

"Who-who are you?" I managed to gasp. God you're an idiot. Stop stuttering.

He looked at me sadly for another few seconds, then stood, as if it pained him. He held his hand out for me and after a few seconds of confusion, I took it. He helped me up and damn, he had to have at least 5 inches on me and I was tall. I kept my hold on his hand and he didn't pull away.

I took a good look at him. He was wearing a tightly-fitted grey sweater that hinted at sinuous muscle and blue jeans. His black coat was probably more expensive than every single item I owned put together. I didn't know what to do now other than look at him. He looked like a freakin' Burberry model. Damn.

He took a deep breath and whispered despairingly, "I must go." My mouth popped open. "But—wait, I don't-" He took one last defeated look at me, closed his eyes, pulled his hand from my grip, and walked away back the way he came as if hiding from something—or me. He disappeared into the crowded sidewalks before I could even call after him.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Azalea

Instead of going to the Bluebird as I had intended, I turned right around back into Littlehale's and walked through to the back lot. Getting Into my Bug, I looked at myself in the side mirror. My light-brown eyes, rimmed with blonde lashes, looked large and afraid. My white-blonde hair was in disarray and I ran my fingers through it so it flopped over to the left but I had to fight through the tangles first. My lips were bright pink from nibbling at them—a horrible stress habit of mine.

I sat down in the driver's seat and sighed. I don't know how long I sat there, looking out the windshield at nothing in particular. I felt numb at this point. Maybe I was in shock. I had a damn good reason. What just happened? I didn't know stuff like that happened anywhere other than movies. And even in movies, nothing quite like that happens. They fall in love instantly and kiss and ride off in the sunset. The End. But that man just walked away. How did he even do that? I could barely speak let alone conjure up the brain cells to move my feet.

It didn't matter anyway. I snapped out of it and started on my way home. I probably would never have to see that man again. I lived a few blocks from Littlehale's, in a small little area of apartments on { } so it was a short drive. When I got there, I went straight upstairs and started a bath. I lit my new autumn candles and put my iPod on shuffle. Lana's voice crooned throughout the spacious room.

I slipped out of my clothes and dipped into the bathtub. I sighed and smiled. It was perfect.

"I'm in his favorite sun dress

Watching me get undressed

Take that body downtown…"

I leaned my head back onto the edge of the bath and sung along. One reason I chose this apartment was that the bathroom was huge and was like traveling back to late 19th century. The claw-footed bathtub fit for two and stood right in the center of the room, on top of a huge decorative rug. The little black and whites tiles on the floor and crept up half the wall. The ivory, pedestal sink with an elegantly framed vanity mirror on top. In the corner stood a dark floor-to-ceiling mirror. I loved this room more than any other part of the house. It was my safe-haven.

"Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?"

I began to relax and as my muscles loosened, I felt my eyelids droop and felt myself slip into slumber. But when I opened my eyes again, I wasn't in the bathroom any longer. My surroundings had faded but I could still hear Lana and the faucet running from inside the bathroom in the back of my mind. Like a dream.

In my dream, the man from the street was there but he was yelling at me. I yelled back though my words come out funny, like another language.

The man pushed me down and I fell back. But I didn't fall to the floor; I fell onto the concrete stairs outside Littlehale's. And when I looked up, searching for the man, he wasn't there. I sat up, disheveled, and jerked my head, frantically looking for him. There he was, across the street. But he wasn't looking at me. He was talking to another woman. Me. But it wasn't me. It was the woman I saw when he touched me this morning. Right as I looked at them he leaned down to kiss her, reaching into his jacket simultaneously. Before I could even yell over to warn her, he pulled out a knife and while still embracing her, stabbed the knife into her chest where her heart would be. As she fell into his arms, dying, I tried to scream but all of a sudden I felt like I was underwater. I couldn't breathe, talk, or really move for that matter. As the girl died in his arms I began to drown in my dream. I kicked and screamed until I couldn't anymore. I choked on the water and I couldn't see anymore. With the last of my energy I tried to move to the surface but there wasn't one. The couple was gone and I was all alone in the black ocean. I stopped moving and looked around me. I turned around to look behind me and there the dead girl floated. Me.

I jolted back into reality and opened my eyes to the sting of warm water. I had slip underneath the bath water in my unconsciousness. I came up out of the water gasping and choking for breath.

"It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

Baby, now you do."

The song ended.

As I sobbed and coughed up the water, I felt exposed. Like a thousand pairs of eyes were on me. Like my whole being was being tampered with and judged. With this horrible feeling creeping across my skin, I hugged my knees to my chest and began to cry quietly.

After my bath, I went downstairs. I needed a distraction so I put on my music and wondered around the house with my golden retriever, Ky, at my heels. After all the décor was up, I put on Marley & Me. Why the hell I did this, I don't know, but I was a snotty mess after.

As a child I was fascinated by animals. All kinds, not just cats and dogs. I would go out and chase the city squirrels and pigeons even though Gran tried to stop me. I would walk to the pet shop down the street from Littlehale's and talk to the store manager, Thomas. He understood my love for animals, so he would let me hold the rabbits and snakes. I always loved the macaws most, though, they were the most beautiful animal there. Pops didn't want animals because he thought it would be bad to have them above the shop—'what if they got out?' he would always tell me. I would laugh because he would demonstrate exactly what he thought would happen if they did.

I missed being a child. I missed Pops. I missed not having much to worry about other than school. Some kids made fun of me because I was quieter and a bit different. But I didn't mind. I knew that school wasn't going to last forever. The last bell would always ring and I could always go home to my family.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Azalea

I woke up the next day to my alarm clock.

I lay there looking up at the dust floating around in the sun light in my white canopy above my white bed behind these white walls. I don't like darkness. I prefer the light and happiness in bright colors.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I blinked. I wasn't experiencing a bone-crashing fear. No soul-burdening sadness. No mad scramble for breath. Nothing but a light sense of peace after a long night of sleep.

Other than my bathroom experience, I hadn't had a dream last night.

With a smile on my face, I pulled my white blanket off my body and leaped into the morning.

"Hello, Gran!" I smiled widely. I had never felt so wake in my life. "Guess what?"

Gran, in the process of holding change back to Sam, the elderly man who came here with his wife every morning, looked up at me in pleasant surprise. I was pretty early. It was only 7 a.m. and I usually only managed to wake up at around 8:30 every day. She smiled in wonder. "You're early. How refreshing."

I walked over to her behind the counter. I lowered my voice and said, "I didn't have any dreams last night."

She looked at me behind her spectacles with a smile that almost looked proud. "Well, I guess things are starting to look up for you."

Later after work, I decided to go to the Bluebird for real this time. No distractions or mysterious men. I pulled on my jean jacket and flipped my white hair behind me. As I walked through the little green door of Littlehale's, I half expected or hoped to be trampled by a man with tortured blue eyes. But instead as I walked to my car, I jumped to the screech of a bird. I spun around and behind me, resting on a tree limb was a cardinal. It was stunning, the softest, brightest red I had ever seen. It didn't move around from limb to limb like most birds, it just stood there silently and looked over in my direction. I heard something crash and fall behind so I whipped around behind me to see what it was. Nothing. I jerked my head back around to look into the tree by Pop's old truck. The bird was gone.

I walked into the Bluebird and looked around at all the familiar surroundings: The stage to my right, facing the many little tables in the center and the booths along the walls; the bar on the left wall, stretching from blue wall to blue wall. The whole restaurant wasn't too big but not small either, but for amount of people they get in here, they had to move the stage to the roof in the summer so people can stand around up there. I loved the decorations up there and all the lights. It was always the best part of my day.

It was only 5 p.m. on a Tuesday so there weren't too many people but it wasn't dead either. On Fridays', there are people standing by the walls, the bar, and on the floor watching the performers. I don't usually go on those days because it's usually all people my age and I don't have many friends here. I'm not a people person, so I have a many acquaintances but few good friends.

The waitress, Cindy, who was usually seated people on weekdays, signed me in and told me I had about fifteen minutes until the stage would be ready. I smiled at her, said thank you and went to sit at the bar. I had 5 months until I was legally allowed to drink so I just ordered a Sprite. I sat looking into my drink contemplating my situation. But then I remembered that I came here to escape that situation, so I dismissed it. I closed my eyes and leaned my head lightly on my hand, causing my long hair to spill onto the bar. I peeked at it. It reminded me of the woman in my vision. I didn't even know who she was and I already felt like she was part of me. Hell, maybe I was her and just don't remember. At the moment anything seemed possible.

"Hey, you okay?" I looked up to the feminine voice that spoke. It must have been a new waitress because I had never seen her before, and if I had I was positive I would have remembered her. She was leaning on the bar in front of me with her elbows and her chin in her hands. She was stunning. Her long black hair fell in the softest waves to her waist. She had long black nails on her elegant hands and big eyes the color of moonlight that looked right through me. I blinked. I contemplated her question. Looked back down at my glass. "I don't know," I said honestly. She furrowed her brow in genuine concern. "What the problem, doll?" She sounded like a concerned mother but her New Yorker accent made me love her instantly.

I smiled lightly to myself. "It's just been a weird couple of days, I guess. I not even sure what the problem is, I'm just trying to figure it all out. It's quite the puzzle and I'm not getting any closer to the answers." I smiled bitterly.

She frowned and her gaze never wavered from mine. To my surprise, she stood and walked around the bar to sit beside me. "I'm Luce," she said with a cute, sideways smile that revealed dimples on her right cheek. "You?"

I opened my mouth slightly, closed it, then opened it again to say, "I-I'm Azalea. But you can call me Taz." She giggled. "Where'd you get that nickname?"

I smiled and said, "My gran gave it to me because I used to love Looney Tunes. At first she called me Az, but after I started watching it, she picked up the name, Taz. She would always tell me I was a Tasmanian devil. I don't really remember being called anything else so now I'm just Taz." I shrugged.

Luce laughed. "So why do you look so bummed?"

I sighed. "Well…it's really complicated. But basically I met this guy…."

I peered over at her. She looked excited. "And…? What's the problem?"

I laughed humorlessly. "That's just it…. Nothing. I met this man and he seemed perfect but I let him get away. I shouldn't have because I can't stop thinking about him and nothing I do will push him out of my mind. I know it sounds insane but it's like I'm supposed to go out and find him."

She gazed at me. "Why don't you?"

I took a deep breath. "Where would I start? I don't even know his name. We barely said a word to each other."

She smiled knowingly. "Actions speak louder than words, right? So not having spoke to him isn't enough of a reason to not try." Her grey eyes were unnerving. But her compassion was exactly what I needed right now. "So there's some else that's stopping you. Something you can't tell me." I opened my mouth to tell her it wasn't true but it was. The idea of seeing that man again scared me. I don't know what I would feel; if I would be overly emotional like last time or not feel anything at all. Perhaps I had imagined those feelings.

No. That's impossible, I'm not crazy.

"I thought so," Luce said with an understanding smile. And just as I was about to ask her something about herself to deflect attention away from me, Cindy walked up me and asked if I was ready. I nodded and both Luce and I stood. "Come back over when you're done," she said warmly.

I smiled in consent and turned to walk up the stage. Cindy announced my name as I sat at the beautiful piano in front of me. I set my fingers on the piano and began to play the song. It was "Almost Lover" by A Finer Frenzy. Quite appropriate for my situation, I thought. I set my fingers on the first keys and began.

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images.

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me.

Music was always an outlet for me but this was different; I was pouring my heart out onto these keys and letting out all of my pent up emotions from the last few days.

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

My voice caressed the lyrics like a tangible emotion. I let my feelings tear through my barriers into the precious words. I sang as though I was singing to him. The man that plagued my thoughts.

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left you kissed my lips

You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy

To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I savored those last few words. It was my favorite part of the song because it becomes so soft and the heartache is evident in her tone. My finger lingered on that last note until it faded into the air. Then, it was over.

People in the audience may have applauded, but it was just background noise to me; I was too wrapped up in my head. Singing did this to me all the time but in my current state, I was exposed and ripped apart on that stage. I have tried to deny it and avoid it all week but singing it aloud made it real and so there. I walked down the stairs in a daze and left the Bluebird through the back door. I stood in the alley, under the harsh light over the narrow way, and began to gasp for air. I couldn't take it anymore. Something was missing. Everything was missing from my life. I have too many things going on at once and I didn't know who I was anymore. I had been content with my lot for 20 years. But all of a sudden it wasn't enough. I have been living in what feels like a movie set; detached and fake. I needed him. I needed to see him again. I had never been this emotional but at the moment, I couldn't care enough to stop. I leaned heavily on the wall of the Bluebird and sunk down onto ground and hugged my knees. My red button-up blouse was getting wet with tears and even though my hair had been in a tight bun, the rebel-strands that refused to be tamed, stuck to my tear-streaked cheeks. I was a mess.

The door to the Bluebird swung open and noisily slammed closed—they still hadn't fixed it after 7 years of me coming here. I assumed it was someone coming out for a smoke but I heard loud, attention-demanding heels strutting towards me. I looked over to see the outline of Luce's insanely curvy form swinging over to my rescue. I sighed and tried to stop crying. I probably looked miserable. Ugh.

"Oh no, baby doll, don't cry!" She sounded like my mother. If I had one. Another tear ran down my face.

She sat down in her nice, sleek blue dress next to me on the filthy concrete. I tried to object but she waved me off. "If you're going to tell me not to sit next to you because you don't want my dress to be ruined, I will severely injure you. I have at least ten like this one." I shut my mouth. I didn't doubt her threat. She seemed like she could kill you with a glance if you got on her bad side.

"Now. Tell me what's really going on."

Pfft. I laughed bitterly. "You wouldn't believe me."

I saw a glimmer in her eyes, which were now brighter than the moon that loomed above us. She smiled like Lydia, as if she was hiding something. "Try me."

So I did. I don't know why I told her and not Gran. Maybe because I didn't know her and if she thought I was crazy, I wouldn't be crushed if she left me. But there was something about her, like she actually cared about my problems. Like she just wanted to help. I admired her confidence and compassion to be able to walk up to a stranger and be all nonchalant about it.

She asked a co-worker to cover for her since there were not many more diners left and we sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant.

I told her everything; about what really happened with the man on the street, my vision from him and my dream, Lydia's prediction, and all my feelings about all of this. I legitimately expected her to get up and leave or at least laugh at me disbelievingly but she just listened. She looked sad, as if my words personally affected her. I laughed and cried and let everything out. It was amazing how much better I felt now that I wasn't the only who knew.

After I finished, I sighed and said, "I'm amazed you haven't ran yet."

She smiled slightly. "I'm not the kind of person who can turn their back on anything or anyone. I would never laugh at someone because of their beliefs. I feel the need to give everyone a chance, because it's what I would want them to do for me."

I grinned tearfully but genuinely. "Thank you. You don't know what it means to me to have someone just listen to me. I was so afraid no one would believe me. I still haven't told my Gran. But honestly, I don't think I want to until I really know what's going on."

She waved off my thanks.

Later that night, when everyone had left and all the workers had gone home for the night, Luce cracked open a bottle of wine. Or maybe a few.

We stayed up way too late, drinking a ridiculous amount of wine between the two of us. We managed to rub two brain cells together and figure out how to play music on the stereo behind the bar. We stood on top of it and danced like we were at a strip club or something. It was insane but exhilarating. I had never had that much fun in my life.

The next morning, Cindy found us in the closest where staff puts their coats and junk. Luce had passed out on top of me and was snoring like crazy. I pushed her off me and realized I wasn't wearing a shirt. I was so glad I was wearing my favorite black bra. I looked up at Cindy holding up my red shirt saying in a hugely amused tone, "Looking for this?" I blushed and snatched it back from her and put it back on. "Wake her up, the manager wants to speak to you two."

I huffed and lay back down in defeat, "Lovely."

Luce was fired. I felt horrible, but she didn't seem to care. "I only took the job 'cause I was new in town and looking for something to do. My parents are loaded so I didn't really need the money." She screwed up her curvy lips in a casual manner. "Ah," I said, as if I totally got what she was saying….

I told her she should work with me, not that Gran was hiring but I could talk to her about it. But Luce said no, she didn't want my Gran paying her. She said she'd just stop by tomorrow to hang out with me while I worked. I laughed and said okay. I gave her my number and we parted ways.

It had been a weird few days but things were starting to get better…

When I got home, I went straight to my bathroom for another long bath. And it was well needed because when I looked at myself in the mirror, I cringed at what I saw. My long, creamy hair was in tangled knots and in desperate need of a wash. My clothes were wrinkled and beaten. The bags under my brown eyes aged me quite a bit. I looked awful but I felt even worse. I've never been hung over but it's horrible. My head ached and I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep forever. My body ached from moving around and sleeping in a closet.

I slipped into my bath and sighed blissfully. Mmm.

After I was squeaky clean and happy, I went directly to bed without even getting dressed. I had no dreams. No interruptions. Just sleep.

I slept until late that day and when I got up, I texted Luce to see how she was doing.

I made hot cocoa and sat on my couch petting Ky and spacing out. A few minutes later, Luce texted that she was fine but wanted to come over. I gave her my address and not five minutes later she was here.

We gathered tons of blankets, started a fire and the three of us relaxed on the couch watching a movie. It was the first time I had been truly happy for a while.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Azalea

For the next week I spent most of my time with Luce and I was being to really like her. She told me about her family back in New York and apparently she's seeing someone, though I haven't met him yet or seen him with her. She has a twin, but she didn't come with her to Chicago. I asked her why but she never really answered. Oddly, I don't even know why she was here.

My questions still remain unanswered but I couldn't be happier. The mystery man was always there in the back of my head but at least I was too distracted for it to bother me too much.

I learned that Luce was wild. She was nice but she was intense and loved trouble. Just yesterday we were driving to a book store and she was speeding like a maniac. It's amazing she didn't get a ticket. Or us killed.

Today she decided to take us to a club. The exposed ceiling was lit with blue and green lights. It had a very backyard-garage-party feel. I could feel the bass from outside. It was loud and sung through my veins. Luce shoved me in a revealing but cool, strappy black dress. She ruffled my hair up sexily and gave me a pair of tall black heels. I tried to tell her no, that I was already too tall but she wouldn't let it go. She said that if she could wear them, I could. She was right though; she was as tall as I was-if not taller-and wearing identical heels. I drew the line at makeup, though.

When we walked inside, I noticed there were two stories to the building. The lower level was mostly the mob of grinding bodies in the center but with booths along all of the walls except for the one with the long bar. There was a bar? How the hell did she get us in here without ID?

The upstairs wasn't really another level, It had a set of stairs leading up to a catwalk along all four walls that looked down on the dance floor. It had wrought iron railing along the walk way and tall sets of tables and chairs along the walls.

Luce smiled at me and yelled in my ear, "Do you want anything?" I looked at her in confusion. The bar, she mouthed and pointed. I shook my head. Not after last time. She walked over and I went to go grab a booth upstairs along the wall. It was a bit quieter up here and nobody was dancing provocatively up here. She came back with the drinks but had to leave immediately after because she got a call.

When she came back, I asked her who it was and she said Phillip—her boyfriend. She seemed so lost about this guy. She had told me she didn't know if he was serious about their relationship or not. She obviously was; she was crazy about him.

"He's on his way. Apparently he got caught up with something," she said doubtfully. She seemed morose since we got here.

I frowned. "What's really going on with you two? You don't think he's cheating, do you?"

Her face fell. "I don't know, Taz. I feel like something's wrong, but I don't know what it is. He's been distant and I haven't seen him much. It's possible he's cheating but I don't want to believe it."

"You never really talk about him. You talk about you two as a couple but I know nothing about him."

She smiled. "He's a family friend. I met him at my family's property; he was visiting my father. I was riding through a field in the back pasture and he was just standing by the fence watching me. So I walked my horse over to him and he commented how beautiful we were. I had just turned 18, so it was about a year ago. He was much too old for me though he sure didn't look it. He had to be ten years my senior. I had a little crush for a long time anyway, though I was very quiet about it. He started to meet me at the barn more and more until one day he kissed me in the hay loft. It was absolutely magical. And not-to-mention hot. He's just so…perfect. And he's a horseman so I love watching him work with them." She had this look on her face that was so loving, it was almost like I was watching a private moment that I shouldn't be intruding on. I wanted that, to love someone so much that just thinking about them brought me happiness.

I smiled at her. "That's beautiful, Luce."

She sighed and the happiness seemed to drain from her. "It was. But now I don't know, we've only been together three months and already he seems to be pulling away." Her eyes started to water. She seemed so afraid. "Maybe he's grown bored of me."

I reached across the table and held her hand in mine, "Luce, don't think like that. There's a reason he's doing this, so just talk to him. I'm sure there's an explanation for it."

She smiled weakly at me. "Yeah, maybe I'll ask him tonight."

"Have you guys…'done the deed' yet?" What an awkward question but I was dying to know what their relationship was like.

She laughed, tears now dry. I blushed. "Yeah, and he wasn't my first. I was a very promiscuous young lady."

"Do you regret not waiting?" I asked innocently.

"Yes and no. I like that I was prepared for him, because he's an animal." I scrunched up my nose. Ew. TMI. She giggled. "At the same time, I wish I could say he was my one and only, but oh, well."

Just then a tall man walked up to our booth. Luce's face lit up like a candle. It was adorable. I looked at Phillip and decided he was about mid 20's but then remembered Luce said he was older than he looked. He was muscular, like he did a lot of manual labor. His face was handsome and strong. He was extremely manly. Almost arrogantly so. I could tell he was perfect for Luce before he even spoke to her.

He smiled when he saw her and walked straight over to her, and to my surprise, layed a huge possessive hand on her curvy hip and put the other softly on her cheek, kissing her with fierce intensity, even before sitting down. He was obviously very protective over her. I averted my eyes. It was kind of awkward. When he stopped and sat down but put an arm around her and grabbed a handful of her ass, he whispered something to her ear. What the hell problems was she talking about? I was seeing nothing but red-hot attraction between these two.

I was shocked to see the strong and sexy Luce I knew disappear and become submissive and sexy Luce. The second he laid his hands on her, she deflated and became putty in his hands, his to do with what he pleased. It was amazing.

He had a Scottish accent that Luce must love because she bit her lip at his greeting and looked at his mouth. "Hey," she said breathily. "I missed you."

He kissed her cheek noisily and said, "I missed you, too."

I was blushing profusely and was starting to feel awkward just sitting and watching them have sex with their eyes. "Umm…." Luce must have remembered I was there because she looked over at me. Her perfect pink lips popped open and said with a dizzy smile, "Oh, Phil, this is my friend, Azalea. Call her Taz, though." He furrowed his brow but chuckled softly at my funny nickname. "Taz, this is my boyfriend, Phillip."

I found her specifying that he was her boyfriend amusing, so I commented with straight face, "Oh, you're the boyfriend. I thought you might have been the brother or our waiter, my bad. It's nice to meet you, boyfriend." They laughed and he shook my hand. "Likewise," he said in his husky accent. He continued to look at me for an amount of time that was borderline uncomfortable. But it wasn't a predatory glance, it was mere curiosity. Hmm. Interesting. He looked away.

She smiled up at him and they got lost in each other again so I got up to get a non-alcoholic drink from the bar. I stand there waiting for my drink in my semi-uncomfortable heels, when I heard a familiar giggle. I looked over at Luce dancing with—or rubbing against—Phillip. I smiled. She was so in love with him. I wondered what problems she was talking about, they seemed fine. Occasionally, people would walk by and rub past me or full on bump into me. The bartender handed me my coke and I sucked it down right there. I needed air. I was a slightly claustrophobic person so I avoid these places. But I couldn't say no to Luce.

There was small porch on the side of the building so I went out, stripped off my heels, and stood in front of the railing. I was alone. I guess no one liked the crisp Chicago air. But I loved it on my bare skin.

I closed my eyes. The wind felt perfect on my face and my hair swept softly over my eyes. I just stood there with my face pointed towards the sky feeling lost in myself. It was a perfect moment. I felt warm and perfect. I felt whole. It was like the air wrapped around me perfectly, making me feel as though I was being swaddled safely like a child and would be never be released or left to fend for myself. I smiled beautifully. I felt like nothing could go wrong. I furrowed my brow slightly and opened my eyes slowly to the light-infested night sky. Wait…. This feeling was familiar.

Before I venture further into my thoughts, I heard footsteps walk slowly toward me. I turned around slowly and looked at the person behind me.

It was him.

I looked up at the man in shock.

He looked at me with a concentrated, almost sad look on his face, like he expected me to bolt. "Hello," he said in the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard.

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Hi." I was stunned. I couldn't move. I was like a deer caught in the headlights.

His eyes, the color of the richest, clearest sea, did not stray from mine. They didn't look down at my revealing dress or my exposed skin. They just gazed at me, as if they were thinking of what to say.

At the same time he started to say, "I'm s—", I said, "Why di—". We both stopped.

He waved me on, "Please, you go first."

I took a deep breath, and laid a hand on the railing behind me to steady myself. "W-why did you leave?" Dammit, don't start stuttering…. I hadn't done that since high school, when I had to perform a speech in front of my classmates. I blinked up at him.

He let out a shaky breath and said, "I don't know. I…thought you looked like…someone I knew. I panicked." I nodded as if I understood. I didn't though; he was hiding something. "My turn?" he said, slightly amused. I nodded numbly. "Well, firstly, I am sorry I left. I assure you I have been regretting it all week."

"So does that mean you won't leave this time?" I asked softly and took a step toward him, so I could be closer to him. We weren't even a foot from each other now. I saw him swallow and look at me as if I was something he could eat. I smiled inside.

"No, I don't think so." He finally took the time to look down at what I was wearing-or lack thereof. His eyes travelled slowly and carelessly, judging my body with his gaze. A shiver brought goose bumps to my skin.

"Here," he said as he approached me, taking off his black coat. He walked around behind me and wrapped it around my shoulders. I shivered even more. It was still warm from his body and smelled like his cologne. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

From behind me, he set his large hand on my thin shoulder and said, "Would you like to go somewhere warmer?" I almost said yes, but then remembered Luce and Phillip inside. I closed my eyes and then opened them again. "I would love that…but I'm here with my friend, I don't want to just leave her."

"Then why are you out here instead of in there with her?" Good question…. I looked up at his genuinely confused face. My mouth hung open, he had me there. Speaking of being out here… "Why

are you out here? How did you know I'd be here?" I asked, turning to look at him better. He opened his mouth. "Ah, well…I don't know. I just was."

That's it? "You 'just were'? That's not an answer…" I was going to say his name but I forgot that I didn't know it. "What your name anyway?"

He chuckled. "That may be useful." He stood up straight and looked at me pleasantly as if seeing me for the first time in his life. "I am Walter." I smiled a bit. He took my hand in his and without break eye contact, bent down to kiss it softly. I bit my lip. Damn. "And you, my lady?"

I blushed and looked at the floor, wishing I shrink into his coat pocket and never leave. "I'm Azalea, but most people call me Taz."

He smiled that pantie-dropping half-smile. "I am not 'most people', so I will call you Azalea. And what a pleasure it is to finally know your name." He brushed the back of his hand on my cheek in an intimate gesture. Mmm…

I closed my eyes at his touch, expecting a vision, but just got a wave of sadness. Horrible gut-wrenching sorrow. I doubled over and gasped for air. I couldn't see anything but the outline of my toes behind my tearful eyes.

Walter tried to ask what was wrong but I couldn't speak. He pulled me over to a wood bench built into the porch and pulled me into a hug that rivaled my Gran's. I cried lightly into his shoulder and he just held me until it faded and I was just resting my head on his chest, closing my eyes and inhaling the smell of him. It was the most natural thing I've ever done, yet one of the strangest. The fact that I barely knew this man popped into my mind, but whatever. Luce was right inside if I needed her.

I looked at his baby blues. "I'm sorry, Walter."

He smiled down at me, his smile wrinkling the corners of his eyes. "About what?"

I shrugged slightly and looked down at my hands. "I don't know. This is an eccentric situation so I don't know how you feel about this."

He sighed. "How do you feel about this?"

I furrowed my brow. He never answers my questions directly. "I…I don't know."

He smiled without humor. "Exactly." Oh. I pulled his jacket on tighter, yawned and snuggled up to his chest again.

Just then I heard the door to the club open and I saw Luce's fine legs step down from the doorway followed by Phillip. "Taz?" I heard her ask, panicked, as if she had been looking all over for me. Walter stayed exactly where he was, so I did too. I was too comfortable to care what anyone might think of me snuggling with an utter stranger.

"God dammit Taz, I was worried sick. I thought you were like, date raped or some shit." It was dark now so when she finally noticed Walter and I in our little bundle, she stopped and just said, "Oh."

I reluctantly sat up and said, "Luce, I'll be in inside soon just give me a sec, okay?"

"Alright," she mumbled and left somewhat reluctantly, repeatedly giving me questioning looks over her shoulder. Phillip however was just seemed happy to have her within reaching distance again. She closed the door behind her.

We were alone again. I figured I should ask him something. "Why were you in front of Littlehale's—when we ran into each other?"

He smiled and looked out into the darkness. "I was looking for someone."

"Who?"

His loaded gaze returned to me. "I…I think I was looking for you," he whispered softly.

I blushed and looked at my hands; his was right next to mine, resting on his thigh. I moved my hand into his and twined our fingers together. His hand was warmer than mine and felt perfect. I looked up from our hands to his eyes. He gazed at me but his eyes flashed to my lips and back to my eyes. His face was only inches from mine. My lips parted and I looked at his mouth. He must have taken this as permission because he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine softly. When I didn't push him away or deny him, he deepened the kiss. I moaned; it was perfect.

I may not have had many female friends in my life, but I had my fair share of male relations. I had always been very bold when it came to those situations. I couldn't help but love the chase. I didn't have any close friends because I just couldn't deal with people. I have never met anyone whom I connected with on a 'best friend' level. I was not a particularly social person, so I told myself I was content with loneliness. But a part of me always craved that unconditional love from a man. But I tried not to dwell.

Walter's large hand drifted lower down my body until he had a death grip on my hip. I put one hand behind his neck and one on his chest. I pushed myself onto his body, trying desperately to get closer, so he paused and pulled me up onto his lap, quickly dragging me back down into the kiss. It was wild. I wanted to hold him tight and crawl into his skin.

I pulled back to breathe. He leaned in again but I turned my head so he just got my jaw. He went with it and started sucking the sensitive skin on my neck. "Ah," I moaned loudly. Extreme pleasure hummed through my entire body. I leaned into him and closed my eyes in bliss.

He stopped after a while, ran his nose up to my ear, and whispered, "Your friends are probably waiting for you." I sighed and didn't move. I didn't want to. What if I never saw him again? What if he was lying and wouldn't come to see me again?

I leaned back, sitting up in his lap. I was in a strangers lap. It didn't feel like it though…

He helped me stand. At some point in our passionate embrace, I had dropped his jacket on the ground, so I picked it up and handed it to him. I told him I had one inside when he tried to convince me to keep it.

As we walked back into the club, he didn't touch me. Maybe he didn't want to in front of Luce and Phillip.

Yet, I found Luce and Phillip in a handsy, passionate embrace in the booth. I coughed as we walked up, making Luce jump. "Oh! Hi," she said, standing up and straightening her dress. Phillip stayed seated in the booth with his beer. He eyed Walter in a funny way. I looked up at Walter who was standing slightly behind me and he was looking at Phillip similarly, like they were exchanging information. Walter noticed me looking and broke contact with Phil, smiling at me soothingly. How odd.

Luce held her hand out for Walter cheerily. "Hello, mysterious boy, I'm Luce." He shook her hand. She smiled widely but quickly grew serious and looked him deeply in the eye saying, "Fair warning, if you hurt my friend, I will personally hunt you down and rip you limb from limb…. No joke." And she didn't look like she was. She looked deathly serious. But Walter laughed. Oh, how that laugh made me melt…

"This is my apparently anti-social boyfriend, Phillip." She gestured to him behind her. Looking cool as a cucumber, he raised his beer and nodded once to Walter.

"And you are?"

"Walter," he responded. Luce smiled and opened her mouth, like she was going to say some more. I cut her off. "—Luce, I'm actually gonna get going, I'm tired and have had a long day. Walter offered to give me a ride."

She looked like a kicked puppy. "Noooo, we were supposed to have a fun night. Don't puss out now. We've barely started." She was being whinny, but in a cute, Luce way. All she needed to look like a little girl was pig tails and a stomp of her foot. "And don't get in cars with strangers, Taz! No matter how handsome or charming…." Walter didn't seem fazed by this; he just smiled as if Luce was being funny. Oddly, this was honest-to-god Luce behavior.

"We can go get coffee tomorrow morning, I promise." I smiled at her reassuringly and Walter and I said goodbye. I grabbed my denim coat and we left.

We walked for bit to his car. I pulled off my heels to give my aching feet a break.

"What's your family like?" He asked curiously.

I took a deep breath. "Umm…well, when I was a baby my birth mother dropped me off on the streets. I don't know who she was. Nor my

father. My Gran—she owns Littlehales'-found me and took me home with her. Eventually her husband convinced her to take me to an orphanage because they didn't know for sure if someone was looking for me or not. They weren't. So when I was sent to a foster home, I learned who found me and that she was just down the road. When I was only six, I went down there and told her who I was. She remembered me, of course, and made me a cup of hot cocoa. Ever since then I would go back and eventually she became my Gran."

Walter listened as if enraptured by my story. He looked the slightest bit amused as well. I continued on.

"Gran and Jeff, her husband, had a son who was ten years old at the time, became my best friend. He was really excited when I started coming over because he finally got a sibling. He's in college in Virginia now, though, so we never see him anymore." I dropped the little smile I had. "I miss him."

Walter was quiet. So I looked over at him. He gazed ahead of us, thinking. "Do you have a partner?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "A partner? Like a…boyfriend?" He nodded. "No."

His expression didn't change but he shifted his eyes down as if he didn't want me to see something in them. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He tried to remain impassive but I saw him tense and think for words. I looked at him oddly. "I…don't. No." I gave him a withering look. "Oh, come on. You can do better than that."

He tried to look innocent, shrugging and said, "What? I'm not dating anyone."

I laughed at him. I believed him but… "Let me rephrase: Are you sleeping with anyone?"

He cracked a guilty smile and huffed out a laugh. "Yeah." I stopped laughing but kept smiling.

I didn't say anything for a moment but peeked over at him. With a big, but slightly sad smile on my face, I said quietly, "That's too bad." He looked over me similarly, like we were thinking the same thing.

After a quiet silence, he finally said, "I'm going to end it."

I looked over at him in surprise. "Oh? Why?" I asked, like I didn't know the answer. He smiled at me teasingly and said just as innocently, "Let's just say, I've found better company." I blushed.

Before I could say anything, we reached his car and my mouth popped open. It was a sleek, black car that I didn't even know the name of but it was foreign. It screamed, "I'm one rich motherf***er".

He opened the door for me but I just stood and stared at it with my mouth hanging open. "What?"

"Dude, you never told me you were loaded."

He laughed. "I guess it never came up, eh?"

"No kidding," I grumbled, getting in the beautiful, leather interior of the car. The windows were tinted black, and something about this car was strangely sexy. But knowing the owner, it was just a reflection of him on the car. Yum. This was a car you slung naked woman over the top of. Preferably me, but whatever.

He folded himself elegantly into the driver seat. I smiled at him. I found this rather amusing for some reason. It was like I was in one of those action movies where the main couple are always in high-speed chases and have heated sex scenes in the front seat a lot. Except we weren't in a high-speed chase. Or having sex. Sadly. Woah, easy there, Taz.

"You ready?" he asked, looking over at me. I must have looked good because his eyes grew a bit dazed and his gaze lingered on my body. He leaned over suddenly and kissed me roughly, resting his hand on my thigh. I pushed my chest into him, hoping for more contact but he was already pulling away. No, come back, dammit! I was sick of him calling the shots, so I climbed over to his side of the car, placing my legs on either side of him and kneeling over him. I put on my best sexy face and flipped my softly waved hair over my right shoulder and let it rest on my teasingly exposed breasts, leaning in to press my lips to his.

God, this man was delectable and I wasn't even a particularly promiscuous girl; it was this man.

I pulled my face from his temporarily, just to see his reaction. I rubbed my hands on his chest and when I slipped them lower, he didn't protest so I lowered them slowly all the way down to the bulge in the front of his jeans. I watched his face the entire time, and it was glorious. His eyes were closed and his head was leaned back onto the head rest, his breathing coming visibly faster and faster. His head back exposed his bobbing Adam's apple. I leaned forward and dragged my tongue along the length of his throat, his facial hair causing delectable friction. I must have caught him off guard because he gasped between his teeth and moaned. I continued my torturous massage of his pants front; he was getting frustrated. I could see him warring with his body about whether or not to push me off him; His hands were gripping my forearms tightly but they weren't pulling my hands away yet and he had yet to open his eyes.

I was feeling drunk with this power I had over him so I decided to see how far I could take him. With a giddy yet sly smile on my face, I reached for his zipper. Just as I touched it though, He did that gasp through his teeth again and sat up, pulling my hands away from his pants and up in the air on either side of my head, like I was about to assault him. Maybe he was a virgin, so he didn't want to. Pfft, no.

I smiled and looked at him seductively as if we were playing a game. I ran my fingers through my hair again. I put my face was close to his, so our lips and noses were touching. I loved being so close to him—I had to be—it was like a hole that I hadn't known was missing was being filled. I shouldn't be doing this anyway, considering he was already fucking some other chick but all morals were way beyond me by now. I pressed my body against his despite his hold on my arms and purred, "What's wrong? You probably do this with your 'girlfriend' on a daily basis." What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe the bartender hadn't given me coke…

"Azalea, I have to take you home, I think you're just tired."

I giggled, "Okay, but you have to come with me. I'm so tired of sleeping alone." Woah. I should probably sit back in my seat before he got mad. He seemed like the kind of guy that would.

I was right. He popped his jaw and flared his nostrils. Who knew that could be so sexy?

"Azalea, I am very close to breaking something at the moment, and sadly, the closest thing right now is you. Please sit down."

My mouth popped open and I obeyed quietly. What the hell?

I watched in shock as his mask slipped and he punched the dash board with his fist in a fit of rage. When he pulled away, he was bleeding. I sat cowering slightly in my seat, looking at his face in confusion and fear. I think I was breathing heavily to the point where I seemed out of breath. My eyes were watering slightly but not from tears. My hair fell into my eyes so hopefully he wouldn't notice.

We sat there for a few seconds. His eyes were closed; he was breathing heavily through his nose and obviously trying to regain composure. For a second, I really did see a stranger, someone I didn't know and I was terrified. But then it was gone and I asked him in the quietest whisper, "What was that?"

He seethed for 30 more seconds before answering, "I cannot…control myself when you do things like that. I need you to listen to me when I tell you to stop. Please." He added the reluctant 'please' at the end to make it seem like he wasn't as mad as he was. But he was.

I swallowed. "Okay." I took in a shuttering breath and whispered to him, "I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. Another deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked over at me again and I was relieved to see him looking at me with sad longing but also warmth, like he was happy I wasn't mad or running for dear life.

He let out his breath and said huskily, "It's not your fault, Azalea."

He pulled his gaze way from me and told me to put my seat belt on as he started the car. I did. I peeked over at him. He had his hand, laying face up, on top of the center console; a silent offering. I took his hand in mine, twining our fingers together gently. My delicate, ivory hand looked childish in his. "I know, but I'm sorry I pushed you." He smiled warmly.

"Are a virgin?" he blatantly. "I'm assuming from your little display that you aren't but..." I shook my head, no. I watched the brightly lit city past us by through the tinted windows, not wanting to see what he thought of that.

"How long have you known your friends?" He asked casually.

"Oh, umm. Well, I actually just met Phillip today and Luce about a week ago."

He crumpled his brow slightly. "You two seem like you've known each other your entire lives, not a few days."

I pursed my lips to the side and hummed in a noncommittal way. I could feel his gaze on me for a few more seconds but eventually it returned to road. We drove a little ways in comfortable silence. A softer song played in the background. Bon Iver. Hmm. Nice.

I wanted to ask him about my vision, who that girl was, or why I'm so familiar with him, but my want for his company was stronger. God knows what would happen if I admitted those crazy things to him. I'd prefer to enjoy him as he was, not looking at me as if I was insane.

The next thing I knew, Walter was whispering my name gently and softly shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and smiled lazily up at him. I must have fallen asleep. I noticed we were in my parking lot. The apartment I owned was on a little back street of miss-matched townhouses. It was above my garage and had a stairwell that led up to the front door. It was white and very quaint. I loved this place, it was like my second home.

I could hear Ky bark even as I stepped out of the car. He loved people, sadly for him the only other human interaction he got was the daily jog around town.

Walter smiled at the sound. "You have a dog?"

I smiled at him tiredly again and let out a breathy laugh, "Yeah, he a golden retriever. If you want you can come up and meet him. He loves people."

He grinned down at my mischievously. "Only if you promise not to try to jump my bones again."

I groaned in amused embarrassment. This night so needed to end. "I am sorry…and I do promise to behave…if you do."

He threw his head back and laughed heartily. Oh, damn. "Well then, we may have a problem," he said happily, even as he linked his arm in mine and walked with me up the stairs.

The second I opened the door, Ky whimpered in happiness and squeezed out onto the porch and sniffed me for a moment. He quickly moved to Walter when he was assured I was me. He sat on his haunches and clearly wanted to jump up into his arms, but like a good boy, he refrained until he was given permission. Walter kneeled down to his level and rubbed him affectionately. Ky licked his face and squirmed so Walter's arm was around him. Walter smiled boyishly. It was adorable. There was a difference when someone came over and pet your dog because they thought it was an obligation and because they genuinely enjoyed it. Walter was very good with him; he looked at Ky with barely contained affection and hugged him lovingly. "You must be a dog person."

He smiled an adorable half-smile that suggested unknown secrets. "I'm crazy about them. They're lives are so uncomplicated and simple. They are unconditionally happy and I envy their ability to forgive. I don't have that." He sighed and just looked at Ky.

I looked down at him in silence until he looked up at me with those beautiful eyes. I was amazed and fascinated by this man. He was a mystery that I absolutely had to unravel. The corner of my mouth tugged up slightly as we just gazed at each other. He hands ceased their petting and he stood, never braking eye contact. He bit his lip and wrapped his arms around my waist, digging his fingers into the material of my dress. He looked down at me and shook his head slightly. With a seemingly dazed expression on his face, he whispered against my lips, "I told myself I wouldnt…"

My entire body shook with his words. Did that mean he would? I didn't want to make a move and have him attack inanimate objects.

I closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to mine in the gentlest, softest way possible. Just one tiny kiss. He took a breath through his nose and loosened his grip on me. He took a stepped back from me.

"I should go."

I sighed. I really hated those words, but then again I was extremely tired and just wanted a warm bath. "When will I see you again? Can I have your number?"

He smiled and laughed as if ashamed that he hadn't thought of it before. "I'm not a very electronically-advanced person. No phones, No television…. I prefer face-to-face."

Oh. "How will I contact you then?"

He smiled at me. It was a smile that suggested I was the only girl in the world. I really didn't wish to know how many other women have been on the receiving end of that smile.

"I may make an exception. For you. Tomorrow I will look into getting a cell phone," He said teasingly with that half smile creeping across his lips. "I will contact you when I get it working." I raised my eyebrows. Was he serious? Would he really get a phone tomorrow just because I suggested it? I judged by his car that money was not an issue. I watched him silently and he, me. I knew he was about to leave so I savored this moment. He had quite a few inches on my rather tall 5-feet-10-inches. His strong, stubborn nose; low, brooding eyebrows; strong, but shapely lips; and sculptured jaw, trimmed with dark-blonde hair. He was immaculately groomed but it was a face that suggested that he had been sad for a very long time. He made you want to make him feel better even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness. I couldn't even imagine the power he had over people. He surely had it over me. That should have bothered me…but at the moment, just looking into his perfect, almond-shaped, blue eyes, clearly illuminated by the porch light, I didn't care if I was number one or fifty-six. I couldn't bear to let him go.

I looked up at him in wonder, my lips parted just slightly in awe. "God, who the hell are you?" I asked in the softest, awed whisper almost rhetorically. He smiled vaguely. I don't know how this man snuck up on me but even with Lydia's odd prediction, he was the last thing I expected.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Azalea

The next morning I awoke with a smile on my face. I had no dreams again and everything was starting to look up. I sat up and twirled my finger around my hair like a love-struck teenager. I couldn't help it, I was so happy. I sat until Ky jumped up on my bed wanting breakfast. I went downstairs to make myself a glass of apple juice—my favorite—and feed Ky. He followed me around all morning, sharing in my good cheer. I hoped with all my heart it would stay that way.

As I skipped up the 7 steps to the green door, it opened before I could reach it. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled in a huge hug, in which I was dwarfed—not in height but sheer size.

Charlie.

As he released me from the hug, I looked up at his handsome face and sweet blue eyes. Charles Jefferson Littlehale was Jeff and Gran's son. He was away for school in Virginia, doing some kind of crazy science, so I never saw him anymore. So naturally a wide grin spread across my face and I yelled, "What the hell are you doing here? Gran didn't tell me you were coming!" This was amazing; I hadn't smiled like this is so long. The only thing that could make this day better would be if by some miracle, a fairy would pop out of the clouds and heal my leg. But that would never happen.

He smiled just as widely and said in his low, husky man-voice, "I just got in this morning. Gran wanted it to be a surprise."

"I don't know whether to thank her or give her a lecture on how not to give me a heart attack." He laughed. "I missed you, Taz." My eyes watered and I pulled him into another hug. I couldn't help but wish he had never left. He was my best friend. Every time one of the brats from the foster home was mean to me, he would hug me and tell me not to listen to them, that one day I wouldn't have to see them anymore. He was always there for me and when he left for college, then stayed in Virginia for a job, I was crushed. He only visited on holidays too.. I was only 14 years old when he left and I was absolutely depressed for a while after. I was still in that foster home and had no one to talk to anymore. I could talk to Gran, but it wasn't the same. Charlie was my brother, my best friend, and my age. Four years later I got in the accident. I remember the cold. I thought I was going to die. My leg had gotten stuck under the car and I couldn't move. I sat there for a half hour, they told me, before someone found me. I remember sitting there and thinking that I would never be able to tell my brother I loved him; or my Gran for the matter. I remember when they finally got me out, I saw all the blood. I couldn't feel my leg, because of the cold, but I guess that's a good thing. I remember the crushing depression afterwards. Now, two years later, I still wasn't really myself. I may have survived the accident but I left a part of me there.

Charlie had come down to see me as soon as he could, but even he couldn't lift my spirits. And he knew it too. He still looks at me differently, like he's afraid I'll finally crack and brake into a thousand pieces. I finally learned to just ignore it.

As we walked back up the steps and through the door, I asked him how his girlfriend was. When he visited this last Easter, he brought a girl, Katherine, with him. She was sweet and beautiful and I could tell he really liked her.

His continued smiling but it lost its happiness, he was just doing it for my benefit. He didn't look me in the eye but said, "We broke up."

I frowned. "What happened this time?" Charlie was a good man, a little cocky, but he was truly good. He tended to date promiscuous little girls, so it never ended well. I still think it's because he doesn't care enough to look. He's just using them to fill the time until he finds the one. I couldn't judge him though; he wanted what his parents had, but because of them, he was afraid of losing it. He was more upset by Pops death than I because he was 16, I was only 12. He had known him for 16 years and I, only 6 years.

He sighed and dropped the smile. We just stood by the door. After a beat of silence he said, "She cheated on me…with a supposed friend of mine." I looked at him sadly. "Oh, Charlie—", I started, but he wouldn't have it. "—Taz, I came down here to forget about all that bullshit, can we not talk about it? It's not a big deal."

Of course it was a big deal. But I understood what he was getting at so I dropped it. We walked further inside and chatted with Gran at the counter like we used to when we were little. Charlie looked over at me with a mischievous smile that I had seen firsthand get him all that he desired. I raised an eyebrow. "So little sister…any boys I need to beat up?" I smiled awkwardly, took a deep breath and shifted my feet. Damn.

"By the way Gran…" I began awkwardly. She looked over in amusement behind her glasses. "I…met someone."

Both of them laughed at my awkwardness. Gran's expert hands poured whip cream on a fancy latte. "Well, I'm not surprised. I knew just looking at you as a kid, I'd never be able to keep the boys away from you." Charlie scoffed in agreement. I moaned in desperation. "Come on, he's different. And when I bring him over to meet you guys, don't embarrass me."

Gran looked at me over her spectacles and said, "You're inviting him over so soon? You make it sound as though you just met him."

I pursed my lips. "Well, I have, it's just that I wanna keep him around and it would be nice if I could get Charlie's vote on him before he leaves?" I glanced over at him and gave him my sweetest girl-voice and smile.

He sighed mockingly. "Fine, but I make no promises that I won't test the boy." Charlie's "tests" usually involved stupid man-things like arm wrestling and stuff. I rolled my eyes but smiled. Just then, my phone started at ring. I looked down at my phone displaying Luce laughing in her usual, "I'm so hot and I know it," manner. I answered with a bright, "Hey." She whined into my ear, "You still owe me details; there is no time for 'hey'."

I smiled. I completely forgot, given recent events. "Okay, fine, meet me at Littlehales'. I'm there now." She agreed and hung up the phone. Not five minutes later, she came in from the back exit. She sure had a way with making herself welcome. Luckily, Gran liked her-though I felt that Gran would like anyone I deemed worthy to befriend.

Luce's panther black hair was let loose down her back and she had no makeup or jewelry on, as per usual. But today she decided to dress down to just jeans and a tee. Granted, that attire was still skin tight and flaunted her perfect curves….

Charlie looked Luce up and down, clearly impressed with what he saw since his eyes drooped sexily and he gave her a lazy grin. "Who's your lovely friend?" Luce raised an eyebrow in his direction and looked at him like a bug to squish. I gave him a scoff that said 'yeah, right'. "I wouldn't if I were you. Luce is practically married. Or owned. However, you deem to look at it." Luce didn't smile. Charlie instantly shut down. Given that Katherine had just cheated on him, he probably didn't want to do that to Phillip. Speaking of him… "Where is Phillip, Luce?" She shrugged, like they didn't spend every waking moment together.

"Perhaps sleeping with some awe-struck whore who has no consideration for my standing with him. Not that Phillip even cares anymore." She tried to look angry and regal but I could tell she was sad. I frowned and walked over to her. I pulled her into a hug. I felt so bad for her; she loved Phillip so much. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. Have you talked to him about it?" She pulled away and sat in stool next to Charlie. I could tell she was starting to cry. "No, I don't know how. I haven't found any proof so I really don't know if that's even what he's pulling away for. But what else would it be?" I shook my head sadly. I didn't know. Charlie leaned over and to my shock, started a conversation with her about how he discovered Katherine was cheating. Apparently he found her bra in his friend's room. That's gotta hurt.

I was absently listening to their conversation from behind the counter when my phone rang. It wasn't anyone I knew, so my heart skipped a beat.

I stepped outside to answer it. "Hello?" I said politely in case it wasn't him. I could practically hear that small smile on his face, "Hello, Azalea. It's Walter." I shivered, giving myself goose bumps and smiled. "Hi, how are you?"

He breathed out a laugh. "I am splendid, how are you?" I returned with the same answer. He asked if he could see me today. I smiled. "Your timing is in fact perfect. My brother's in town and I'd love for him to meet you." Walter agreed and I told him he could come over now if he wished. He told me he would be here in a few.

I waited outside for him while Luce and my family talked inside. His sleek black car pulled up to the curb with glorious precision. The driver's side door opened and out came that beautiful man. I blushed and smiled to myself. Imagine if he was all mine. It would be too good to be true.

He got out of his car and faced the street, not yet seeing me. Pushing up his sleeves above the elbow, he appraised the area in that sexy, contemplative way. He wore black jeans that shaped his fine ass and a warm, grey sweater, tight on his muscular upper body.

I bit my lip and leaned back on my hands, just looking at him. He turned around and halted when he saw me, his face was serious but slowly a smile grew across it. As on mine.

He continued walking over to me and when he did, I stood up and walked to meet him halfway. He looked down at me, obviously wanting to kiss me, but didn't. "Is your family near?" I laughed confused. "No, why?" He smiled. "Just in case," he breathed and kissed me desperately. He had both hands on either side of my face, holding me to him. I went up on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. God, what this man did to me….

One moment he was gripping me like he needed me to breathe, and the next he was pulling away. Nooo… I leaned into him as he pulled away, but he wouldn't have it; he turned his head so I caught his cheek. I decided to tease him by kissing and biting his cheek, his chin, his throat, behind his ear. He closed his eyes and momentarily forgot that he was trying to resist me. But he did that gasp between his teeth and forced me away from him. I smiled. He can't resist me. He looked down at me with barely concealed amusement. "I told you, you can't do things like that to me. I'm not responsible for my actions if I you force yourself on me." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure I can take it," I said, but then remembered last night in the car, when he lost it. Maybe I couldn't take it…

He gave me one more one kiss and grabbed my hand, leading me up the stairs. "Come on, I want to meet your family."

He smiled and opened the door for me. I walked in and everyone turned to stare at us, trying to get a glimpse of Azalea's mystery man. Lovely. I just adored the spotlight.

I saw Gran's eyes widen a bit when Walter entered behind me. Charlie remained his cool self, probably assessing how best to embarrass me and my boyf—Walter. Luce continued to look down at the counter in sadness, ignoring everything. Poor girl.

I reached behind me for Walter's hand and held on for his comfort and mine. He smiled at the quaint café. It was an expression I was familiar with; new costumers always came in with it. I pulled him into the shop a bit and Charlie stood with his hand extended toward Walter. "Hi, I'm Charlie. Taz's brother." Walter shook hands with him, both men probably putting in more force than necessary. "Walter." He said curtly. Men….

Gran came over and gave him a hug, though he towered over her tinny figure. "It's so nice to meet you, dear, I'm Taz's Gran. And yes, you will call me that." She gave a teasingly serious expression. I giggled sweetly. Walter looked over at me suddenly with a look in his eyes took my breath away. His gazed was loving and almost…sad. I looked back at him with a confused look. What did I do? He snapped out of it and told Gran his name. Gran noticed his momentary lapse but she smiled, seeing only the adoration of me in Walter's look, not the soul-deep sorrow.

Walter returned to my side and stayed there the entire time as we sat by the counter and chatted with all my favorite people. Luce came to at some point and became herself again. Her and Charlie were very chatty, but not in a flirty way. Just like they really liked each other.

At some point Gran said something about how much she missed my dancing. How she used to love seeing me dance around the apartment and shop before the accident. Walter looked up at her in concern. "What accident?" Oh no. Now was not the time for this.

Gran and Walter both looked at me. Gran in sadness, Walter in confusion. When I looked down at my hands to make it clear I wasn't going to talk about it, Gran turned to Walter. She was tiny and old, but she was pretty and plump, like she had once been cute and curvy as a girl. Her face was serious and sad. Sometimes I wondered if she was just as sad about my disaster as I was.

"It was probably two years ago this November that Taz got in a car accident. She was driving during a snow storm and got in a head-on collision with another driver. She was thrown from the car and her leg was crushed under it. The other driver got up and walked from the accident with barely a scratch. She was in the hospital for two months and in rehab for 9. They didn't think she would be able to walk again, let alone dance. But here she is. Walking and talking." Gran smiled proudly at me. I couldn't run for very long but I was truly grateful that I wasn't in a wheelchair. "I thought I lost my baby girl." She loved to tell people my story. She was sad I couldn't dance but she was also grateful and proud that I was okay. She thinks I was given a second chance, but really I was just lucky.

I looked over at Walter who gazed at me like I was a mystery or a puzzle; someone he didn't understand. I looked back down at my hands. Gran continued. "Taz can't do ballet anymore but she still goes down to the studio every Sunday to teach the little ones. If it were me that couldn't do what I loved anymore, I wouldn't have the guts to even walk into the place, let alone continue teaching. But then again it's just another reason why we're so proud of her." Her kind eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled warmly at me. I would have liked to tell Walter all of this myself but deep-down, I was grateful Gran could say all of it for me. I knew I would have never had the guts to tell him in actuality.

Walter put his hand on my hand that rested on my knee and twined his fingers with mine. I finally looked up at his face and I saw love. I saw longing that took my breath away. I squeezed his fingers tightly.

We spent the majority of the afternoon with my family in the little café but after a while, I got hungry. Considering the little food Gran sold at the café, we decided to go to a restaurant down the street. Charlie stayed back with Gran to help her with the shop so Walter, Luce, and I went by ourselves.

Walter and I sat across from Luce. Throughout the entire dinner, Walter ran his hand up and down the inside of my right thigh. I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned into his ear when Luce wasn't looking and whispered seductively, "If you keep doing that I may have to drag you into the bathroom with me." I punctuated my statement with a little lick behind his ear. His jaw popped and his nostrils flared. I smiled up him. Oh, this is fun.

Luce looked up just in time to see me smile at him. She raised her eyebrows ad her pixie face showed intrigue but before she could comment, the waiter came over to take our order. His eyes rarely strayed from Luce, but she paid him no heed. She just looked out the window absentmindedly.

"Luce, are you okay?" She looked over at me like she forgot we were there. I gazed at her in concern. She opened her mouth once, looked up at Walter with…fear, and then looked back outside with a small, "yeah". I frowned and looked at Walter. But his face didn't reveal anything other than concern for Luce. I'll have to ask her when Walter's not there. She probably just doesn't want to talk about it in front of him. But part of me didn't believe it.

As we waited for the waiter to return, Luce got a call and quickly left the restaurant to take it.

I asked Walter what his family was like, if he had any of course.

"I have two brothers and two sisters," he said vaguely.

"What about your parents?"

He sighed and spoke uncertainly, as if testing his words. "We are all…estranged from our parents. Our father was not a very cooperative man. And our mother…wasn't always all there."

"You mean she was like…insane?"

He laughed. "No, just…not very caring." He didn't seem very bothered by it so I just said, "Oh."

"What are they like? Your siblings?"

Walter smiled. "My brothers and sisters are all very good people. You would love all of them just as much as I."

I rolled my eyes but smiled teasingly at him. "Oh come on, you gotta give me more than that."

He smiled modestly. "What more do you want to know?"

I looked at him for a bit, my face grew serious. "Have you ever been in love?" I asked curiously.

He looked back at me in the same way and let out a breath he seemed to be holding for a while. "Yes."

"When?"

"Long ago."

"Was she beautiful?" Ugh. Why did I just ask that…

He smiled wistfully and looked me right in the eye and said, "The most."

I looked away and let my breath leave my lungs in a huff. Okay, that hurt, but I did ask. What did I expect him to say? "She was the ugliest woman I have ever met, you have nothing to worry about"? Sigh. It couldn't have hurt ….

"What happened to her?"

He took a deep, sad breath. He looked positively heart broken. "She died."

My mouth opened. "Oh, Walter. I'm so sorry." I put my hand on his shoulder in comfort.

He smiled sadly up at me.

"What—what was her name?" I didn't want to hear the answer but I knew it before he even opened his mouth.

"Calliope. Her name was Calliope."

Luce disappeared after she left to take the phone call. She must have been upset. I would call her after I got home.

Walter and I walked around the streets of Chicago in companionable silence. I would have asked him more about Calliope, but I was too afraid to hear anymore. When we first met, he said her name to me; like he thought I was her. Did I look like her? Moreover, was she the girl in my vision and my dreams? Was that the only reason he was beside me; because I was the closest he could get to her? I wanted answers but the longer I went on looking for them, the more questions I acquired.

We stopped by {a fountain} and sat next to each other on the ledge of the fountain. I laid my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and pretended my world wasn't about to come crumbling down. He held me for a while, until I leaned up and kissed his mouth. He kissed me back passionately and I tried as hard as possible to believe he was kissing me, rather than a ghost of a woman he once had.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Calliope

For the next few weeks, I went through the motions with Walter. I believed he was officially my boyfriend but I grew more and more paranoid as the days went on. I knew there was something more to this man than I knew. He had no friends or family that I had met. No parents I had seen. I had only seen his huge apartment once before. I knew he had tons of money, though he never told me exactly what he did for a living. He looked about twenty-five years of age, but what 25 year old is that rich? Unless he had inherited money from someone…

I kept coming back to my dream and what I saw when Walter touched me. I wanted to know what they meant. I wanted to know why I—Calliope?—was in my visions. I needed to know who Walter really was.

So on a Wednesday afternoon, when I was done with my shift at Littlehales', I went home and powered up my laptop. I decided maybe looking up this Calliope would help me a bit. Maybe there was a dedication page to her or something.

Google displayed pages about an instrument, a restaurant in Manhattan, a musical society, and many other odd sites. But the main result was a Wikipedia page about the Greek muse. I cocked my head, rereading the words. A Greek…muse. Greek. I thought back a few weeks to Lydia's prediction. Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love was on one the tarot cards. Huh. Interesting.

The next morning, I came to work with Lydia in mind. And after an hour or so, she finally waltzed in. I went alert. "Lydia, good morning."

She glided over to the counter. "Hello, darling, how are you this fine evening?"

I ignored the pleasantries. "Lydia, I need to speak with you. It's important."

She grinned and fondled with some of the candies on display like nothing was wrong. "I'd like my regular first, and then we'll talk, dear."

I untied my apron, pulled it off, and without looking behind me, said, "Gran, Lydia needs her regular." She hummed her assent.

I walked ahead of Lydia, over to where she usually sat. I sat down cross legged with my hands on my lap across from her. She was slower to get there as if shocked by my temerity. I didn't have patience to care though. I needed help.

She smiled at me in that cool, amused way. I just gazed back, waiting. She finally sat and merely gazed at me. I decided to go first. "I met the man you warned me about."

She chuckled. "Of course." She lazily gestured me on as if this was to be expected.

"I don't know who he is, Lydia. I know his name, obviously, but there's something he's hiding."

"What's his name?"

"Walter," I replied.

For the first time in my life, Lydia looked serious. Her smile dropped and something like recognition and shock flickered in her eyes. She looked at something past me, as if in deep thought. I looked on in confusion. "What's wrong?"

She blinked, snapping out of it, and smiling up at me. "Nothing." I raised an eyebrow, disbelieving. She rolled her eyes, waving a dismissive hand. "I know a man named Walter, no big deal. Just continue, please."

I did. "When I…met him, he touched my face and I…saw something. It was me, but not me at the same time. I had longer hair and I was cradling a baby and I just looked a bit different overall; I can't explain it very well. But the thing is that Walter said a name when he saw me. It was 'Calliope'. He said it like a question, like he thought I was her." I decided not to tell her about my emotional reaction when seeing Walter for the first time.

"Later that day, I fell asleep and dreamt of that same woman. Except I was an onlooker and she and Walter were kissing. But he stabbed her and she died…. A week later I was speaking to him and he spoke of a woman. A woman he had once loved. Calliope."

She just looked at me. "And?"

I sighed. "I don't know…do you think that I just look like her? It cannot be a coincidence that the woman he once loved looks exactly like me. Since I have no idea who my mother is, what if I have a long-lost sister? And Walter conveniently falls in love with her then me? It's insane, Lydia. My head has been running in circles for weeks, trying to find the answers to my questions. Something's happening that I don't know about." My voice gradually grew angry and panicked. I sighed and looked up at her brown eyes. "I'm so scared, Lydia." My voice grew thick with emotion. Good, I needed a good cry. "I don't who I am or what I'm supposed to do because I'm so confused and lost." I was just about to start the waterworks when Gran set Lydia's latte in front of her. Luckily, she was too busy with morning customers to realize my eyes were watering. As she walked away, I turned back to Lydia, who was sliding out of the booth to sit next to me. She pulled me into a one arm hug, like when I was little and I would tell her about the kids at the home. She rubbed my shoulder and let me cry on her nice clothes.

When my face was dry and I was just sobbing every once and a while, I admitted, "I think the only thing keeping me from telling him I love him, is that I don't know who he is. How can I love someone who keeps secrets?" She sighed. "Honey, I don't know. I really don't." Lydia looked like she wanted to say something throughout my entire monologue, but when this was all she said…I figured she didn't want to help me. Just like with Walter, these elusive secrets were more important than my sanity.

I looked down hopelessly. "I should get back to work. Thank you, Lydia." I hugged her one more time and got up. She sat and continued to sip her latte, reading a classic novel. I returned behind the counter. After about five minutes of work, I heard the door open. I didn't look up because I was too wrapped up in my thoughts, but I felt that change in the air, like everything was okay again. My hands stopped moving. "What's a pretty little girl like you doing here, eh?" I heard him say in a mock smoke-infested voice. I smiled reluctantly and turned around. There he was in all his glory. He was in a suit today, a dark blue one that made his eyes shine and glitter. I fidgeted but stood my ground. "What's a sexy, charismatic gentleman like yourself doing here?" I looked up at him under my lashes and pursed my lips just slightly. I knew the reaction it got out of him…and there it was. That hot, loaded look he gave me when he wanted me. I so wanted to bed this man, but something was clearly holding me back. I don't know if it was my conscience or what he was keeping from me. Or maybe they're the same thing.

He smiled at me and, tired of waiting for me to go to him, walked around to the back of the counter and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter, my legs around him. I giggled as he nibbled on my neck. He smiled lovingly up at me and kissed me sweetly on the lips. I put my hands on his big shoulder blades and pulled him into me. There weren't many customers other than Lydia and a couple others. But only Lydia was in eyesight of us. Just as I thought this, though, I opened my eyes to the sound of a feminine gasp behind us. It was Lydia, standing near her booth as if she had stood to get a better look but stopped when she saw what she was looking for. Her mouth was hanging open and she looked positively horrified to see us. I pushed Walter off me when he didn't see her. He looked at me, confused, following my eyes to where Lydia was standing. He looked surprised for half a moment, but it quickly shifted to anger. Anger directed at Lydia? Did Lydia know him? She made it sound as though she did when I told her his name, but she had brushed it off as a coincidence.

Walter pulled away from me and walked determinedly toward Lydia. I reached out for him in panic, "Walter, what are you doing?" He wouldn't hurt her…?

He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the back door. "I need to speak to her for a moment. Stay here, Azalea." I followed him but he slammed the door shut before I could reach it. I didn't try to open it. I knew he would just get angrier and tell me to go back inside. So I stood in the corner of the little mud room, waiting, afraid. I listened hard, wondering if I could hear what they were saying, I heard his deep voice speaking loudly and assertively but not shouting. Thank god. I heard Lydia's voice speaking just as loudly. I must have waited a minute for them but it felt like hours. Lydia came in first, slowing when she saw me. Her eyes were fiery and excited from their argument but when they saw me, they turned sad, like she felt pity for me. She didn't say anything, just walked back into the shop. I waited and heard the front door close with her exit. I knew without question, I wouldn't see her for a long time.

I waited for Walter to enter but he didn't. I crept outside to see if he was there and I saw he had taken off his suit jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves, he was pacing up and down the alley, fuming. I walked down the steps toward him tentatively. "Walter?" I said tentatively. I was terrified. I had only seen him mad that first night in his car. But this was worse. "Walter, what's going on?" My voice was thick with coming tears and he noticed. He stopped in his tracks, looking up at me, and seemed to force himself to relax. I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his mid-section like a child and held on tightly. I should have been running from this man but I just couldn't. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and breathed deeply into my hair. "Nothing, my love. It's all okay." Tears came to my eyes because I was well aware that he was lying. It absolutely tore me down to see the man I loved direct such anger at a woman I looked up to since I was six. I was too rattled to press him any further, so I didn't ask any more questions. I laid my head down on his chest and didn't say a word more.

Lydia didn't come back to Littlehales'.

I still didn't know what happened and wasn't sure I wanted to anymore. I felt like maybe this was one of those things better left unsaid.

Walter did not offer any more information, but he treated me differently, at least for a little while. Like I was a kitten, soft and vulnerable, that he needed to be careful with. I didn't like it. But I couldn't blame him. I was acting much more vacant. I wasn't eating very much anymore and it was starting to show. I didn't go for walks with Ky anymore. I spent more time in bed, telling Gran that my nightmares came back, though it wasn't necessarily a lie. I was having nightmares, just not ones as bad as before I met Walter. I was miserable. I couldn't stop thinking about all the secrets Walter was probably keeping and what he told Lydia. I never kissed him as passionately as I used to. I could tell it made him sad but he didn't complain. I was surprise he stayed with me through all this. I was practically a zombie by now.

One day, a week or two after the incident with Lydia, in December, Walter was making me breakfast in bed. I had just woken up from another horrible nightmare, in which I was stabbing someone, a girl, repeatedly in the stomach. It was awful. So, naturally, I was in an awful mood and Walter was just trying to make me feel better. He brought me breakfast, with Ky right on his heels, and sat next to me. He had music playing through the speakers in my room. "Wait" by M83. He offered me the plate and laid down next to me when I wordlessly took it. He leaned his head back on his hands and closed his eyes. Ky jumped up on the bed and cuddled up with him. I sat for a few moments, staring at them, realized I wasn't hungry, and got up. I mumbled that I was going to take a bath. I left the door open behind me and started the bath. I didn't mind if either of them came in. Walter and I hadn't slept together yet but he also wasn't a stranger to my body. They both wandered in after me. Walter stood leaned up against the doorway, watching me strip out of my clothes. Once I was naked, the bath was half-way full and I got in. It was warm and I shivered in pleasure. Walter, barefoot and in worn jeans and a band tee, padded over to me, kneeling down on the floor behind me. I closed my eyes as he began to l massage my tiny shoulders. When he was done he played with my hair, kissing my shoulders lovingly every once and a while. I didn't smile. I barely moved. But when he asked me why I wouldn't eat, I opened my eyes. He had his head on my shoulder, in the crook of my neck, so he stared into my eyes unwaveringly. I swallowed and didn't make eye contact and said, "I don't know."

"Bullshit," he said heatedly, lifting his head. I sat up and turned to look at him in shock. He stared back defiantly in all his stunning beauty. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked shocked.

"You know. You just don't want to tell me because something's holding you back."

"And what would that be exactly?" We were getting louder and angrier with every word.

"I don't know, Az, you won't tell me. I mean, look at yourself. You're like a skeleton. I don't know what I'm doing or not doing to make you feel this way." I glanced behind me at myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. He was right. My skin was creamy but paler than usual, like I was sick. My ribs were being to show and I saw my brown eyes, huge on my newly hallowed face, peek at themselves through a curtain of wavy white-blonde hair. "I'm scared, love; I don't want to hurt you."

I looked away in disgust, stood, and got out of the bath, wrapping a towel around myself. I turned and walked back into the bedroom. He followed. Ky sat on the bed with his ears pinned in fear, sensing the mood.

"Azalea, please, speak to me," he said imploringly.

"About what?" I turned to face him and spoke in a pained voice. I had had enough. "About all the secrets you're keeping from me? About how little I know about you? What do you even do when you're not with me? How about the fact that I don't know any of your family or friends? How I don't even know what you do for a living, let alone your fucking birthday? I don't even know how old you are for gods' sake, Walter." He looked at me with a brooding expression, but nothing more. I was breathing heavily now.

"How about we talk about what the hell happened with Lydia? How about you tell me about your ex, Calliope, who for some fucked up reason, plagues my dreams?" At this point I was viciously spitting my words at him, but I stopped, took a few breaths, and whispered, "Tell me who you really are."

For the remainder of December, everything stayed the way it was. That was, Walter told me nothing more and I learned nothing more. But on the last day, moments before everything changed, I got a call from Luce. She talked about Phillip, about how she hasn't seen him in so long and that she missed him. I sighed. I loved Luce, but I had so many more things to think about than her boyfriend.

I had lost 15 pounds since I met Walter and I think I was falling into a depression. I didn't know what to do. Leaving Walter wouldn't bring me any satisfaction because everything here would remind me of him and make me miss him more. The only thing I could think of that would help me would be to leave Chicago completely. I was tempted to do so many times, but each time I thought about Gran and how alone she would be. I couldn't do it.

So I stayed, but as of today, it wouldn't matter either way.

It was the Sunday before Christmas and I realized I had left my dancing shoes at his house, so I drove to Walter's on the { } to get them before my lesson. He lived in an apartment on the thirtieth-something floor of the {

} He had given me a key to his front door so I let myself in, not even sure he was home. The door led to the romantically-lit, narrow entrance hall which, on the right, led to the living room and in turn, the kitchen. On the left, it led to the master and spare bedroom, of which I did not frequent very often. But since I usually found Walter lounging on the leather couches, reading, I moved toward the right out of habit, but slowed when I heard voices. From the left, not the right. I couldn't make them out very well, but I could hear an occasional laugh. Some instinct of mine lead me to quiet my breathing and take lighter steps, creeping slowly down the dramatically-lit hallway like in a dream. I felt detached from my body, like I was a mere onlooker, unfeeling, invincible, numb. A slow, creeping sense of dread swept over my body and gripped tightly on my heart. I took the entrance on the left which led to a sub-hall, with a closed doorway closest to me and one at the end of the hall. The one at the end let to the master bedroom and was cracked open slightly letting out a stream of bright light into the dark hall. As I got closer to the door, not making any sound, I heard the voices more clearly. There were only two and it was a male and female voice, speaking in hushed tones to each other. I recognized one of them as Walter, but the other I didn't.

When I reached the door, I put my eye up the crevice and looked inside the bright room. Walter was not alone, this much was obvious. My eyes tried to find the canopy bed I had only seen a few times before, on the wall directly across from the doorway. And there he was, in a tangle of limbs and sheets that took me a moment to process. He was with a woman.

A month ago, Azalea would have run from the building crying, but I quickly reminded myself of what I had wanted for so long: answers. So, ignoring the pain in my chest, I listened and watched.

Walter was on top of the woman, whom I could tell was absolutely beautiful. She had long auburn hair that must reach her hips. I couldn't tell, though, considering it was spread across my boyfriend's pillow. Despite that she was laying down I could also tell she had insane curves. Curves the Walter's hands were busy groping.

He whispered something in her ear I didn't catch. She giggled happily. I couldn't see his face because his back was to me but he breathed that laugh that I loved so much. My lips trembled. I wanted so badly to cry and yell at him but I couldn't. Not yet.

His whisperings were replaced by disgusting sounds of pleasure from both of them. I watched as the man I thought I loved rutted against another woman. The tears finally broke free of my defenses and a heart-broken sob left my throat. I threw a hand over my mouth and gasped, panicked. The woman gasped, "What was that?" But Walter had already turned around and looked at the door in surprise. I didn't wait to see if he saw me, I turned and ran down the hall, tears running down my face. Running back the way I came, it was very difficult to see behind the tears. I think I ran into a vase because I heard something fall and shatter, violently breaking the silence. But I didn't stop. It was hard to breathe while crying and running, so when I reached the elevator I stood and gasped for my breath waiting for the doors to open.

Hearing footsteps running toward me, fear choked my already sobbing body. I turned to see Walter's lean body turn the corner, eyes searching. He was in only his underwear, and much to my dismay, it crossed my mind how beautiful sculptured he was. But that only made me sob harder. He wasn't mine anymore, so it didn't matter if he was beautiful or not.

The elevator doors opened and when I moved towards them quickly, he made a grab for me. I was halfway in when he wrapped his arms around my mid-section, pulling me out. I kicked and screamed profanity at him, beyond rational. I fell to the ground, hoping to go under his vise-like grip but he just fell with me; we both lay on the ground now, him kneel over me. When his grip on me didn't loosen and the elevator doors closed with a gentle clink, I sagged in defeat, my face cringing in almost physical pain. I finally gave up with a glass-shattering scream, completely exposed and torn apart. His arms around me were like metal, unmoving. I was almost numb to his frantic apologies. I just had to get away. I needed to run far away. I needed leave this empty life behind me and never look back. But he would not let me go.

His useless words finally reach my ears, "My love, please, stop. Listen to me." My love? I was not his love anymore; how dare he say those selfish words. His own voice was thick with emotion; I looked up at his surprisingly pain-filled face. My sobs came softer now but the tears kept falling hot. "Walter, let me go," I moaned quietly. All of a sudden all the mystery of this man didn't matter anymore; the only mystery I cared about know was that he kept that disgusting woman from me.

I felt him shake his head against my back. "No, you can't leave me," he practically yelled. I didn't look at him when I said in a broken voice, "I'm not, you're the one that left me." Catching him by surprise, I stood and ran from his grip before he could even react. I ran toward the stairwell down the hall, my hair flowing behind me like a wind-blown mane. When I reached the door, I swung my head back to look at him, to see him one last time.

He was on his hands and knees, where I left him. He looked at me in devastating sadness. His face when I saw him for the first time flashed into my head. He looked as he does now. The parallels were horrifying. It occurred to me in that split second, that maybe he only stayed with me at the end because I reminded him of his dear Calliope. And now here he was, losing her again. Despite all those secrets and questions left unanswered, I loved him. I hadn't gotten to tell him, but it didn't matter now. I would never see him again. And yet, I felt my heart break as I ripped myself from his eternal blue eyes, pulled open the door to thirty-some flights of stairs, closed it with a definite thud behind me, and never looked back.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Christmas and New Years' passed in a blur. The only reason I went out was because Charlie was coming home and I need to see him. I needed to talk to him about everything, because, though Luce was a close second, he was my shoulder to cry on.

Gran always invited some of her own and Jeff's family over for Christmas dinner. These dinners usually involved them sharing their stories about him. As a girl I loved to sit with the adults and listen in; it helped me preserve exactly what Pops was like. I was young when he died so things tended to fade.

Christmas was on a Wednesday, so the dinner was three days after I left Walter. I was still a bit shell-shocked, but I knew this was for the best. I had already gained back a pound of the weight I had stressfully lost and was sleeping less, which meant I could get up to go to work the past couple days.

I had told Gran that I broke up with Walter and when she asked why, I would say, "It just wasn't working out." She knew I needed space so she gave it to me. At the moment though, walking up to Littlehales', I realized I needed help, not space.

Charlie was sitting next to Gran's sister, our Aunt Elizabeth, who was almost identical to Gran with the exception of glasses. Aunt Ellie was as sweet as Gran and loved gossip. She was probably drilling Charlie about his most recent girlfriend, Katherine, the one who cheated on him. As the thought crossed my mind, I flinched. I had completely forgotten about that. Was he over her? Would my venting of Walter's disloyalty remind him of her? How insensitive of me. But the guilt faded as quickly as it came, I knew Charlie would listen to me anyway.

When we were little, we could just huddle in a corner with our presents and talk, but these days, we had to go up to our old room to avoid Aunt Ellie. There were only two bedrooms for the four of us so we had to sleep in the same room. Charlie and I didn't fight very much though, so it was ok. And when he went away to college, I got it to myself. I left all his things alone, though, because I missed him. All our things now were just as we left them, like a physical representation of how much Gran missed us.

I walked over to Charlie and Aunt Ellie, said hello, evading her string of questions about what I was doing these days and why I was so thin. I asked Charlie if we could talk and he got up right away, going up to our room.

We sat on the bed, facing each other. He gazed at me with a look that resembled concern, except his was much more puppy-dog-like with his pretty blue eyes. He had Pop's eyes. I couldn't imagine how much that tortured Gran.

I took a deep breath, looking down at my light blue high-top converse. I was cross-legged, wearing shorts and warm grey tights with black snowflakes printed on them. My hair was up in a messy bun that let some strands loose. I should be happy to be around people I love but as usual something was missing. Something was always missing.

I braced myself. I began in an ashamed whisper, "Walter cheated on me."

I didn't see Charlie's face but I heard him sigh sadly and whisper, "Oh no."

He pulled me into a big, genuine hug. That's just what Charlie was, though. Genuine.

My eyes watered as I pulled away from him. I sniffed. "I'm just surprised he even bothered to stay with me at the end. I mean, we barely interacted. I was so distant and he seemed to roll with me like nothing was wrong. Now I know why he so…agreeable. It really amazes me that he stayed for so long, though. He wasn't getting anything from me."

Charlie, with his thick eyebrows bent in sympathy, said quietly, "How'd you find out, Taz?"

I frowned, my chin trembling, "I went to his apartment and saw him with a girl."

"Saw them? You're not assuming things are you?"

A tear rolled down my cheek. "No, I caught them in the very act, Charlie."

He closed his eyes and his head fell back with a long huff through his lips. "Damn. I'm so sorry, Taz."

I smiled weakly at my hands. "I'm not. I wish it had gone another way but we were a toxic mix either way. I wasn't happy with his lies." Oops. I didn't want to mention Walter's mysterious side but I figured Charlie would think the 'lies' where his sleeping with another woman.

He didn't.

"What lies, Taz?"

I didn't meet his eyes and said carefully, "There were…many things Walter kept from me. He was shrouded in mystery. I didn't know his family or friends. I didn't know anything about his past. He came out of nowhere with nothing but a name and lots a' money."

"How did you fall in love with someone you didn't know?"

I finally looked up at his eyes. Sad blue to tearful brown. "I don't know," I whispered weakly. And I didn't. It was like I saw him and instantly loved him. There was no question of it from the first moment. The way we reacted when we saw each other could only be described as love at first sight. I wonder if anyone else has ever felt it. Or if I was alone in my fucked-up, disappointing situation.

Charlie looked warily at me and, weighing his words carefully, said, "Taz…what happened with you too to make you grow so distant? Did he…hurt you?"

I looked up at him, wide eyed, "No! He didn't touch me, Charlie. We didn't even sleep together. Of course, now I know why he didn't pressure me to…."

I only answered the second half of his question so I began, "I had already been wary about Walter, when he did something. Something that scared me." Charlie looked at me intensely, his eyebrows deeply set. I licked my lips and didn't look directly at him when I confessed, "Walter came over to the shop one day and Lydia was there." Charlie knew Lydia, but she didn't connect with him like she did with me. "Lydia saw Walter before he did and she…she was horrified to see him with me. Walter got angry when he saw her. Really, really angry. He took her out back and I could hear them from inside. They weren't quite yelling but were surely arguing. Lydia came in, completely fine, and I haven't seen her since. Walter, of course, wouldn't tell me what or why." I took a deep breath. "After that day, I stopped touching him and the stress over all the secrets made me depressed. That's why I stopped coming into work and lost weight."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down my lap, like I could hide from my despicable past.

Charlie sighed. "Sounds like the guy has some anger issues…or just issues in general."

I raised my eyebrows in a quick 'oh, hell yeah' gesture.

"What are you gonna do?"

I sagged in defeat. This was exactly what I was wondering. "I really don't know. I should be happy it's over but now I feel even worse. I wasn't given any closure, what-so-ever, and I want it so bad." My chin started to tremble again. I wanted to stop feeling for a little bit, like a day or two. Just for a break. I wanted to be content for once.

Charlie looked at me sadly and said, "As much I want you to run in the other direction and never look back, I understand where you're coming from and that you want to finish what you started, to find closure. So, the only way to do so is to go and get it yourself."

Next Sunday, exactly a week after the incident with Walter, I decided to go get closure. Plus, I still needed my fucking dance shoes.

As I drove to his apartment, I felt sick to my stomach and more nervous than I ever have. I thought through what I would say hundreds of times. But when I got there (ringing the doorbell this time), no one was there. In fact, when I let myself in, the place was empty. Literally. Everything was gone. Not that he had many personal possessions but still, all the furniture was gone. I looked in the kitchen and living room but there was nothing. I went down quickly down the hall to the bedrooms, trying not to remember the last time I walked along these walls. The spare bedroom was completely empty as well, so when I went into the master, I expected that to be as well. But it wasn't. Everything, including the bed was gone, but on the floor, perfectly in the center, sat my worn, pink satin shoes. lowered myself onto my knees slowly and looked at the shoes for a while. Eventually, I picked the shoes up and set the spare key right where the shoes were and left.

I stood in the mirrored room, all alone at this hour. I told the manager I would close up the studio when I was done. I put on a favorite of mine, "Perfectly Aligned" by Milo Greene and warmed up lightly. Holding on to the railing along the wall, I tentatively tried to lift my leg past my waist. Waves of pain shot up my leg, making me wince and put it down slowly. I waited for it to pass. But a crap took root in my thigh and was very painstakingly subsiding. Breathing slowly in and out, I sat down on the ground, holding my knee to my chest, trying to hold back a sob. When the pain grew into an aching throb, I hurled the closest object beside me at the mirror across from me. I panicked slightly, hoping I hadn't broken the glass. But as I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw that the mirror wasn't what was broken, it was me.

I decided that week, after I went to his apartment and found it empty, that I was done. I was done crying, done being sad, done pitying myself, done caring about a man who had left me so easily. I stopped hiding and went out with Luce and Phillip more often and even got a job at a pet shop outside of the city. I figured a change of scenery would help me. Gran was all too happy to hear that I got a real job, but she also seemed sad. I told her that I would still visit. My birthday was in February, so Charlie would be coming home soon. I had that to look forward to.

On Friday, Luce asked me to come out with her to the club we went to months ago. I told her we should try a new place, since we already tried it. Really, I just didn't want to return to the place that I met Walter. She agreed, and said that she knew another place that was just as good.

When she picked me up at 6, I didn't expect her to bring her basically her entire family. Her twin, Mary looked a lot like Luce, with long black hair-though hers' was straight-and had a rockin' body. Their faces were similar but not the same. Mary had blue eyes and looked softer and more doll-like, whereas Luce had a mischievous and sexy look to her at all times. Mary brought her best friend, James though they didn't act like friends. James would occasionally hang his arm over her shoulders and kiss her forehead. They weren't groping like Luce and Phil but they were more than friends, for sure. I thought they were cute, though. James had big ears, short dark hair, big brown puppy dog eyes and funny eyebrows that probably showed ninety percent of his emotions. James was odd, though. He looked at me in an odd, distrustful way, like I was about to attack his girl any second. His look reminded me of how Phillip looked at me the first time I met him, a mix of wariness and curiosity. Maybe they were just protective.

Luce's brother, Milo, looked almost identical to Luce, with silver eyes and dark wavy hair. He was tall and lean but you could tell he was extremely muscled just by the grace with which he moved. He had scruffy facial hair that made him look very mature. He was extremely beautiful and his fiancé, Bryn, was as well, if not more so. She was tiny but average height. She had big, dark brown curly hair and skin the color of milky chocolate. She had a big smile and big, hooded brown eyes. She had a calm, low voice that made her sound very sexy yet someone you could rely on. Her brother, Marcellus—Marcel for short—had the same smile, eyes and skin tone. His hair was cropped close to his head and he was very happy and loud. I loved both of them instantly.

Luce dragged us all to a club even nicer than the last one. The other had at least a place to sit and relax, but this one did not. It was just a floor with a huge bar and lot of stools gathered on the walls. On the floor was at least a hundred of grinding and meshed bodies. The blue and green lights shone brightly from the ceiling, making the people below look beautiful and unearthly. We all sat in stools along the walls and I started a conversation with Bryn and Milo. It was very obvious after a few minutes that Milo was a little shy and that Bryn did a lot of his speaking for him. I asked her how she met him and her lidded eyes lit up. "We met at college in New York. Milo and Marcel were instant friends and after like a week at school, Marcel invited me out with him and some of his friends. Milo was there and he was kind of the odd man out so I talked to him and we became friends. After a while, you know, we started to be more than friends, I guess." She smiled her signature grin. Her teeth were so white and she looked like she should in an Ulta commercial. She was perfect.

I took a sip of sprite, when she asked what I do for fun and work and stuff. I smiled abashed. "Well, I used to work at a coffee shop with my Gran, but I decided I needed a change of scenery when me and my boyfriend broke up. So, now I work at a pet shop. I used to dance but I got in an accident and now I can't dance anymore."

Bryn's eyebrows raised in question. "Really? You danced? Ballet?"

I nodded. She smiled happily and said, "Oooh, how funny! I dance as well."

I smiled sadly. Bryn told me all about her school in New York and all the roles she played in shows. It was wonderful to talk to someone about it but at the same time it was hard to hear about how good she was. I would never be able to get there.

At some point, Marcellus came over to speak with us. He was all smiles and happiness so my mood lifted. "How far apart are you guys?" I asked them. Marcel was quick to reply in his deep, confident tone. "This fine little lady—" Bryn rolled her eyes but smiled. "—and I are a year apart. I know, I know, I look at least five years her senior, in all my glory, but anyway…what was the question?" He laughed joyfully at his own cocky sarcasm. He drifted off to Milo. The guy never stopped moving. Bryn and I chatted until Mary and Luce came over. Apparently Mary was very quiet but she was kind when she did say things. I didn't think I had much in common with her, which I found odd since Luce was my best friend. James, Milo, and Phillip sat in their corner, and us woman were in another little circle.

The song coming through the speakers was Kings of Leon. I didn't know the name of it but it was a deep and erotic sounding song that made smile. I asked everyone if they wanted to dance but only Luce followed. Phillip let her go reluctantly, staying behind with the others. I plunged straight into the crowd, dragging a happy, squealing Luce behind me. We moved steadily toward the middle of the bodies and began to dance. The pulse of the music thrummed through my veins giving me an odd sense of adrenaline. The colors meddled together in a blur of motion. It was beautiful. My hair fell in my face and a light sheen of sweat covered my body. A body behind me began to move with me, their front to my back. I giggled, feeling high, and leaned my head back into the crook of the neck, my blonde hair spread over my breasts. I looked up through my lashes at the person. It was a man, probably twenty or thirty, I couldn't tell in these lights, and he was adorable. I curled my lips up him and closed my eyes, moving my body against his. I was thankful I straightened my hair and wore a skin tight dress that dipped into a V between my breasts, stopping before my bellybutton. It was extremely scary to wear; always feeling like you're going to flash boob randomly without noticing. Luckily it was so tight that that was impossible.

The man had almost black eyes and jet black hair. His skin was beautifully tan and was a few inches taller than I was. I luckily wasn't wearing heels. I looked over in Luce's direction slightly self-consciously, but after a beat of looking for her in the mesh, I saw she was in a deep make-out with Phillip, also dancing at the same time. I smiled, relieved. I looked into the man's eyes, letting my eyes droop sexily and biting my lip, and put my right hand on his thigh, which were on either side on my hips. He breathed against my exposed neck and kissed me there gently, moving up to my right ear. He bit my earlobe, making me moan softly. Challenging him, I moved my hand up his thigh, rubbing at the large bulge in the front of his jeans. He stopped kissing me but I felt his breath come faster on my neck. His big hand abruptly grabbed my breast, pushing me farther into his embrace. My right hand continued its slow torture on his front and my left arm reached up behind me and wrapped around his neck. As we slowly moved, aggravating each other more and more, I leaned up behind me and pulled him into a monster kiss. He grabbed me harder, and with his left hand on my breast, he moved his righty down between my legs. I gasped and moaned against his mouth, loving the torture his grip was causing. Stopping his movements, but keeping his hands where they were, he said in a deep, masculine voice, "Come home with me, love." I closed my eyes in ecstasy, and bit my lip, nodding. He released me and grabbed my hand, pulling me from the dance floor in one quick movement.

Oh God, what am I doing? What if he's a freaking axe murderer? I would be defenseless against him. But the more I thought about it, the less I cared. I needed to get laid so bad. I needed a distraction from real life.

Getting into his car and driving to his tiny apartment was fun, he was very flirty. It felt nice to relax and be someone else. I had forgotten how much I loved the chase. Walter didn't count and I hadn't dated anyone for a few months before him, so it had been quite a while. The man name was Miguel and he was hilariously charming. I sat in the passenger seat next to him, and I was a hot mess judging by reflection in the mirror. The darker makeup around my eyes made me look edgy. I took off my shoes and put my feet up on the dash of his convertible. The top was up though, since it was December.

Miguel through me undisguised looks of desire on the way to his apartment, making me impatient. It was tiny with only a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom. It was homey and tiny but it was very colorful and artistic. He was a painter. There were canvases and paints all along the walls and on almost every surface. I smiled when we walked in. He slept on his pull-out couch and when I used his bathroom, he set it up. We I came out, he was waiting patiently. I blushed and smiled at him. He looked at me with a similar smile and said, "come", with his hand held out for me. I obeyed. He held me to his chest. I looked up at him, eye-level with his mouth. When he leaned down, kissing me fiercely, I pulled away and said quickly against his lips, "No strings?" He nodded his assent quickly and pulled me up to him again.

His mouth was amazing. Not quite as good as Walter but…. No, don't compare them! Don't even think about him! I didn't. I shut off my brain and let my body do the work for now.

Miguel's lips traveled down my body until he got to the bottom of my dress. Laying soft kisses on my legs, he reached his hand up my dress to take off my underwear. He pushed me back onto the counter behind me and grabbed my thighs in his thick hands, spreading them roughly apart. Positioning his head between my legs, his tongued flicked out against my clit. I gasped and leaned back against the kitchen counter. When he found me relaxed and supple, he picked me up into a sitting position, tearing my dress off my shoulders and down over my hips, all while kissing me fiercely. Throwing it into a corner, he laid me back down on the counter. Unzipping his pants, he pulled his cock out of his pants and positioned himself at my entrance. Looking at me with a smile, he slammed into me in one hard thrust. My mouth opened and I whimpered, my back bowing off the counter. He leaned down to kiss me, mumbling sweet nothings about my beauty or something. I closed my eyes and didn't pay much attention. I was wrapped up in my pleasures. As he began to move in me, I realized with a sudden bliss that this was exactly what I needed. It was the perfect distraction.

At some point, Miguel picked me up in his huge arms, and set me down on his bed. I restlessly squirmed as my body began to build in pressure, like a string pulled taunt.

I was relaxed and finally letting go of all the bullshit of the past months when suddenly the front door flung open, like it was kicked in, and slammed against the wall, making me jump. As the heavy footsteps pounded in the house, I pulled the white sheet from the bed over my body and scrambled to the head of the couch/ bed, gasping and breathing heavily. Miguel, with his jeans slung low on his hips, stood and looked toward the door.

In a span of seconds before seeing the intruder's face, I expected it to be someone Miguel knew, but my heart stopped when they walked into the room.

Walter.

He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and black jeans. He wore big black combat boots. His hair was as perfect as usual, though his beard looked like he had been running his finger through it; he did that when he was frustrated. He was absolutely seething, and breathing heavily. Miguel looked at him in confusion, "Who the fuck are you?"

He stomped into the room, not breaking his stride or eye contact with the other man. In a flash of Walter's arm and snap back of Miguel's head, Walter's face contorted in unearthly anger. It took me a moment to realize that he had swung his fist at him. My entire body jolted in fear and I pulled the blanket up higher on my chest. "Walter, what are you doing?! Stop!" I exclaimed even as he lifted his arm to swing again.

But he wasn't listening. In the dim lit, I watched, screaming, as he beat the absolute shit of the man. I was growing frantic and felt so powerless. Miguel tried to fight back but Walter clearly had the upper hand. Tears came to my eyes, but didn't fall, as if they were too afraid as well. After the third punch, I got up with my blanket around my body, and tried to grab Walter's arm. "Walter, please, stop!"

He just shrugged me off and continued his attack of Miguel's face.

When he pulled away, preparing to kick the man, who was now on the floor curled into a ball, I stepped in front of him. "WALTER, STOP! NOW!" At the last second, I thought Walter would keep swinging, expect now at me, but before his hand came down, he stopped and his face relaxed. He still looked pissed but there was least regret in his gaze now. His muscular body, once so beautiful to me, was tense and frightening, like a lion about to pounce.

I gazed at him, my hair in my eyes, one hand holding my towel, and the other held up, as if it alone could ward off his wrath. His stance relaxed and he stood up straight. Miguel was unconscious on the floor, half beaten to death. I felt sick to my stomach. I did this. Walter hit him because of me.

"Walter?" I whispered, as broken as the poor man on the floor. He looked at me like I had betrayed him. It made me sad but I was so angry at the same time. He can cheat on me with another woman, but I can't with another man?

"What are you doing with him?" He whispered wretchedly. I met his blue eyes stubbornly and said, "What were you doing with her?"

He huffed and let his head fall back, closed his eyes. "Exactly," I said softly, almost to myself. I furrowed my brow, remembering, "How the hell did you know I was here?"

He put his hands in his pockets, saying, "It doesn't matter, I'm just glad I did."

Ugh. "Another secret. Of, course," I said, throwing my free arm in the air. I went around him to the kitchen. I grabbed my dress and only my dress and dropping the sheet, I pulled it back on angrily. I turned around to walk out of the apartment and when I reached the door I turned to Walter, still in the living room, I said, "He's all yours." And left. I probably should have stayed and called 911, but I couldn't help but feel like Walter deserved to have to fix this. He did the actual deed.

When I got to the elevator, I slipped inside, but before the doors closed, I saw a big hand stop them. Walter walked in and I said authoritatively, "You're the one that beat the shit out of him, now you have to take him to the hospital."

Walter continued to move into the elevator and said, completely unfazed, "I'll have someone come and take care of him."

I gave him a dirty look. Stupid rich boy with stupid connections and stupid face and stupid…everything. "How convenient," I said as the elevator doors closed.

We just looked at each other. Both too stubborn to look away.

"How is your mother?"

I didn't bother correcting him; Gran really was like my mom. "Fine, I guess. I got a job somewhere else, so I don't see her as often."

We continued to size each other up. Suddenly his gaze slipped from my eyes and traveled down my body leisurely. I became increasingly aware of my lack of underwear or appropriate attire. I shivered under his gaze. His eyes returned to mine. I loved his eyes more than anything in the world. The deep, chameleon blue changed shades in different light. It was a light, baby blue in the sun, and now, in the dim lights of the elevator, it became a rich navy. Our gazes became less challenging and more heated. His eyes hooded and he moved toward me slowly, never breaking contact. Keeping my hands in fists on either side of me, not daring to touch him, I let myself lean ever so slightly toward him. Our lips barely touched when the doors opened to the modest ground floor. I jerked my head away, coming to my senses, and walk determinedly out of the elevator. He followed. I couldn't lose control like that again.

Last time I walked this route, I had an ex I was successfully trying to forget and a whole and healthy one-night-stand by my side. Walter made a grab for my arm. I turned around with very pissy look on my face, fully prepared to bitch him out. His hand slipped down my arm to my fingers, holding them in his. I looked down at them. My hand was soft and small in the vastness of his masculine, over-bearing hands. These hands were frighteningly familiar. I loved these hands. But I shouldn't. I should turn and run from this building, all the way home.

I looked up at him with sudden realization. "Oh no."

He looked down at me with annoyingly protective concern. This expression made the skin between both his eyebrows and the bridge of his nose crinkle. I wanted to reach up and smooth the little wrinkles with my fingers, so they would no longer bother him. But I couldn't. "What's wrong?"

I closed my eyes and put the hand he wasn't holding up to my brow. "I…I was out with Luce and some other people when I met Miguel. I live on the other side of town. I'll have to catch a cab."

He shook his head at me before I even finished my sentence. "You are not leaving my sight, Azalea. I'm driving you home." I opened my mouth to deny him. I would not be told what to do. "I'm driving you. If you would like to disob—I mean…not listen to me, then I will have to drag you." I didn't miss the not-so-subtle cover-up of his wording. He knew I did not like to be treated like a child. Or his little bitch. However you deem to look at it.

I narrowed my eyes, but I knew he wasn't bluffing, so I allowed him to walk me to his car right outside. It was exactly as before—sleek, black, and stunning—like nothing had changed. Walter opened the door before I could and held it for me. I didn't smile, I just got in. It smelled like him too, something bright and warm. When he settled next to me and turned on the car, pulling out onto the sparkling streets, I didn't speak. I was so angry and frustrated and it didn't help that I never finished with Miguel so I was still horny. I laid my head on the window and just watched the lights skim past us. I could feel his gaze turn to me periodically for a few minutes, like he was waiting for me to say something. I ignored him. He called someone, giving them Miguel's address; must have been the doctor guy or whatever he was. But after a bit, he said wearily, "Why are you not speaking?"

My head swung around to look him in the eye when his words sunk it. "What?" I said, almost like an accusation. "Are you serious?"

He appeared to be uncomfortable but I still stared him down. He nodded, looking over at me for an answer.

"You want to know why I'm not speaking?" My voice was clearly furious and he began to get that brooding look to him, like he was forming those defensive walls around him. I halted after my question, realizing my anger was directed in vain. He wasn't worth the anger and the jealousy and the energy. My heart said yell, kick, scream; my sanity told me to turn away and look forward. I decided my mind was in the right this time. So, I took a deep breath and said in a newly hushed, calm voice, "I'm not speaking because I have nothing to say." I looked back out at the city lights with my arms crossed.

"How?" He pursued, obviously not believing me. He so does not want to be left behind. I crossed my arms across my chest and looked out the window, stony faced. "How can you not have anything to say after what I did to you?" His tone was pleading and frustrated, like he was genuinely confused as to why I would try to leave him behind.

I clenched my jaw, my gaze beginning to flicker from the window, like I was having difficulty keeping my stature. "Because, I can't care anymore," I whispered bitterly.

"Why?" He was talking in a more level tone, but still keeping his pressuring tone. He was throwing intense glances between me and the road ahead, so at least his chameleon blue eyes weren't nailing me like his voice. Why? Good question. I thought about all the pain and sadness I had experienced. I could tell him about how I felt when he basically left me for some other woman; I could force my anger about all his non-answers on him until he became so defensive that he would barely speak anymore. But I wouldn't. I knew it would do no good. It would result in another fight and more tears.

I absentmindedly wondered why the hell I should fight with a man that didn't care about me, a man that fucked some whore behind my back and pretends like he's the victim. Why should I?

"Why?" I whispered, confirming his question, almost to myself. "Why don't I care anymore?"

I looked full on at him, willing him to look me in the eye, but he now looked through the tinted glass, that brooding look on his face. His walls were back up.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I never cared?" My tone was quiet but intrigued, like I was truly baffled. "Why do you have this irrational notion that I'm wrapped around your finger like every other woman? I am not the bitch I found in your bed last December. I have some self-respect, Walter, I'm not some stupid girl that you can manipulate and persuade to love you." My voice had become louder and more angered to the point where I was practically spitting my words at him, despite my better intentions. But as I said the cruel words, it occurred to me that what I was saying rang true. I thought I loved this man but maybe that wasn't what it was. I have no past experience so I wasn't sure what love was really. Perhaps what I felt was mere infatuation. That, I had past experience with.

He said nothing for a while. After about thirty seconds, I looked back outside, thinking we would spend the rest of the drive in silence. But he eventually said quietly, "I'm sorry, Azalea, for what I did. I did not care for that woman, but I love you." As he said these words, my emotions flood through my interior barriers. I had wanted to hear and say those words for so long. I tried not to, but my shock and sadness must have showed on my face as I looked through the windshield. How dare he spring those words on me so unexpectedly and at the worst time? He continued, not seeing my reaction. "I didn't want this to happen. I wanted…to just be with you. I swear that that was enough. I know that because there was a lot going on, you didn't want to sleep with me, but I assure you that that wasn't why I slept with that woman. I shouldn't have done it, I know. I was the biggest mistake I've ever made. This sounds awful, like I'm trying to get you back, but that's not what I'm trying to do. I just want you to know."

"Know?" My eyes were glassed-over, as if my body was too shocked to let the tears fall, but they wanted to, so they hovered, waiting to plunge and expose me. "I don't know anything. I know nothing about you, your past, or what has happened since I first saw you. I don't know who I am; I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm lost," I said, so afraid. "I either need to go back to when I was blissfully unaware or get answers, because I feel like I'm falling. I have nothing to hold on to and I'm scared of what's happening and it's happening so slowly, It's like I'll never reach the end of this awful chapter in my life. I need something, Walt." My voice was thick with heartache and true sorrow. The tears had started to fall, sparkling on my cheeks in the city night light. In my disheveled state, I was probably a hot mess. But I didn't wipe away the tears; Walter should have to see my pain.

He sighed, sad, and looked at me as if in pain. He nodded and said, "I'll give it to you. Let me take you somewhere, so we can talk."

Was he just saying that to trick me into spending time with him, then dodging my questions as usual? I had to take the chance. It might be worth it; he seemed genuine in wanting to help me. My mess of a face broke into a small, awed smile. "Really?" I whispered disbelievingly.

He looked over at me in a hopeful, but still sad way and nodded three times slowly. Perhaps he regrets holding back on me and maybe I would finally find what I was looking for. Good.

We drove for perhaps five minutes more when he pulled up to the pet shop I worked at. I looked over at him confusion. He merely smiled at me. But it wasn't a smile from the Walter I had grown accustom to, it was one from the mystery man I met on the street the first day. It was a smile that carried a burden too heavy to bear. It was a smile I was sure mirrored my own on occasion.

"I work here now," I said stupidly, not quite putting the pieces together.

"I know," he said. Before I could respond, he got out of the car. I sat, confused, and began to get out when he held open the door for me. I didn't say anything, just walked past him to the door of the place. It was January and absolutely freezing, but I was numb to it. I had left my coat at the club with Luce, so I walked in black flats, a reveling black dress, a purse on my arm and no underwear to the front door of the shop. My keys were in my purse, so I opened the front door to the sound of birds chirping and rodents chewing. It was a local pet shop on the edge of town so it wasn't a big deal for me to be here at god-knows-what-time-in-the-morning. The older man that owned it was very nice.

When we walked in, Walter asked what my favorite animal in the shop was. Since the store didn't have macaws, I pulled my favorite snake out of her tank. She was a ball python; about three feet long and with my further research, discovered her color was Butter Pastel.

I put her on my shoulders and, being an older snake and used to humans, she curled into the warmth of my neck comfortably.

Walter gazed at me curiously. "I didn't know you liked snakes. What's her name?"

I smiled kindly up at him. "Persephone."

His eyes cracked up to mine quickly, like that fact shocked him. It's not that weird of a name….

"Why?" he said. I was slightly taken aback by his tone, like he was offended.

"Oh…well, when I came here she didn't have a name so I figured she needed one. And since a countless amount of people name their snake after Hades, I named her Persephone. I would totally buy her but I really don't have five-hundred dollars handy."

Walter nodded, looking at the creature around my neck. I furrowed my brow. "Are you okay?"

He looked up, as if pulling himself from his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Okay… That's odd.

I walked over to the front desk and pulled out a stool for me and Walter sat in another.

He sat down gracefully and quietly. He watched me, looking like he didn't know what to say.

I figured I'd help him out. "How 'bout I start by saying what I do know?"


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

He quickly nodded in consent.

I took a deep breath and brushed my fingers on Lil' P's soft scales, concentrating. "I want you know that I don't know why these things happen. They just did, much to my dismay. I know that you won't anyway but… don't think I'm crazy." I looked at him, weighing his reaction but he just looked at me, waiting. I swallowed.

"I know that the first time I looked at you I felt hundreds of different things all at once. Sadness, anger, love, so much love. But also hate, and even some…jealousy.

"I know that you were in love once—"

"—Twice now—"

I continued like he hadn't spoken. "—And I know she died, though I don't know how or when or why. I know her name was Calliope. I think she looked like me, though you haven't expressly told me so. It's the only explanation for your reaction that day in front of Littlehales'." I swallowed, fearful of admitting the insane. "I think I saw her in a vision. And now, in my dreams occasionally. When you brushed your hand…on my cheek that first day…I saw a woman. She looked a like me just more mature and had longer hair. She was yelling one second and the next she was in bed holding a baby, frowning. I don't know for sure if it's Calliope, but I can't think of another explanation.

"The next time you touched me, I felt something, rather than seeing it. I felt sad. It was horrible. That's why I started crying and freaking out….

"I used to have horrible dreams...before I met you. But they weren't normal dreams because they felt horribly real, like memories. And I could not wake up unless someone said my name. Alarm clocks never worked, so I spent most of my childhood relying on my Gran to wake me. But the night after I met you, they stopped. Poof. Gone." It felt wonderful but scary at the same time, to finally be admitting these things to him.

"Granted I still had dreams, especially ones about the girl that looks like me, but at least I could wake up from them."

I took a deep breath and was quiet for a bit. I watched as he looked at a place on the tile, weighing what I know. Or perhaps what I don't.

I continued numbly, like a robot spitting off information, but also looked at him until he met my eyes. "And I know that you…have a relationship with Lydia that remains unexplained."

I looked at him, silent. Now he knew everything. He would either run or tell me what was really going on. Hopefully the latter.

I looked at him. Your turn.

Walter's eyes went back to that tile on the floor. He looked stressed, so I got off my stool, with Persephone still around my neck, and walked up to where he sat gracefully in front of me. His face was eye-level with my chest so I tried not to shove my tits in his face. He would probably take that as encouragement to make a move on me, which is so not what I want. It's not…really.

I put my hands on either side of his face and allowed my right index finger to swirl in his facial hair. He closed his eyes. This is the first intimate contact I've allowed since we broke up. My mind drifted off into the past, the past in which Walter touched me freely and wasn't a complete liar. I remembered the way his lips felt and his—stop. I halted my thought and pulled myself back to reality but then realized my lips were about an inch from his. I pulled back slightly. "I want you to know that you can tell me the truth. I'm not afraid. I want to know." I smiled a real smile for the first time in so long. It was slight but it was real. "I'll try to refrain from judgment until you're done, Walt." He sighed as though relieved but also bracing himself for the truth. He leaned his face into my touch and closed his eyes. "Thanks, Az," he said peacefully.

I sat back down into my chair before I got any more ideas. Walter took another breath, sat up straight and said, "You're going to have to be really open-minded. I mean, super open-minded." I nodded. I had to be. I wanted to be. It was the only way to finally get the answers I wanted.

Walter looked into my eyes and I met his with confidence. "I'm…not…human."

My face didn't change. I continued to look at him eagerly. I'm not sure if what he said really registered in my head.

He looked at me warily. "Umm…so, yeah, I'm a god."

I giggled. I couldn't help it. He smiled warily with me. My laugh became a full blow chuckle. He started to laugh lightly with me but asked, slightly confused, "What's so funny?"

I laughed and laughed until I couldn't breathe. I wasn't sure what was funny. Perhaps the irony that this boy thought he was a god and sadly, in my eyes, he has been the entire time. I eventually stopped laugh but random spurts of hysterical amusement would spill out of my mouth.

Walter looked at me in wary amusement. "I was unaware of my comedic nature."

I put my elbow on the counter next to me and set my cheek in my palm, smiling up at him. "Well, telling someone you're a god usually wouldn't get a serious reaction, yes?"

His wariness vanished and smiled boyishly at me, raising an eyebrow. "You think I'm lying, love?"

I smiled widely at his beautiful half-smile and the 'love' endearment. His smooth, British accent was always so warm and lovely. I wanted to curl into a ball and listen to him speak. And I used to be able to do just that, but now, I could only love it internally. As hard I may try to harden my heart against him, the moment I was in his presence, I could not fool myself any longer. I thought perhaps that made me weak, but I didn't think that way anymore. I think I was just a forgiving person. After all he had done, I did love him. I should be allowed to, as well, but I just couldn't show it externally. I had to keep it to myself. For now.

"You must forgive me. I've only dated a few 'gods'." I giggled loudly but he didn't laugh with me. He smiled a bit but at the sound of my giggle, he gave me a loaded, heated look. As my laugh tapered down and I realized what he was about to do, he stood and walked toward me. My smile slipped from my face and I tensed. Oh no. If he touched me, I couldn't possibly keep my composure. Much to my dismay and at the same time, happiness, he hovered over me like I had not five minutes ago. Except he was larger and more intimidating than me. He stood with his hands on my hips and gazed down at me lovingly. The tendons in my neck strained as I panicked inside. What would he do? The man really had no boundaries. Though, honestly, I had no control over myself so we probably weren't the best mix. Oops, too late now.

I expected him to do something to make me submit to his whims but rather he picked me up. He grabbed my hips and swung me up onto his right shoulder like I weighed nothing. Which was so not the case. I was a big girl. I weighed at least 150. I jogged with Ky, rain or shine and was pretty fit. I had to admit, I had an ass that I was very proud of. I sat on his right shoulder like a child and I grabbed his head in panicked. Holy shit! What if he drops me? But he didn't. He just laughed like he hadn't just picked up a woman and put her on his shoulder. His breathing didn't change and was relaxed. Wow. I knew he worked out but this was crazy.

"Still don't believe me, love?" I gasped and unhooked my arms from his head, placing them on his left shoulder, terrified of falling.

"Oh my god, Walter, put me down, put me down," I said. I wasn't afraid of heights, but I sure as hell didn't want to fall from them. He chuckled and placed me smoothly on top of a pile of dog food that was as tall as him. "I meant on the floor!" He shook his head, crossing his thick arms in front of his chest.

"Do you believe me now?" Was he serious?

"That doesn't prove anything other than the fact that you spend too much time at the gym," I said heatedly, crawling around on top of the dog food, looking for an alternate way of getting down. It looked like I either had to get a ride down or jump. But in my attire, jumping down would mean that I would surely be exposing some R-rated skin. I wasn't afraid of the exposure-but in front of Walter? Uh-uh. Nope.

"Walter," I whimpered and whinned. "Get me down." He ignored me and said, "What can I do to prove my godliness, Az?" I rolled my eyes and moaned painfully, seating myself on the dog food pile.

"I don't know, Walt. What do gods even do?"

He kept his arms crossed but looked pleasantly up at me, "Well, we keep the balance of things. Weather, the sea, births, marriage, love, even humanity itself."

"What do you do?"

He smiled to himself, like he was amused by this secret. "I know that you will not believe me but…long ago, people knew me as…Zeus. I was God of Gods and the Skies." He gazed up at me, slightly amused, but serious none-the-less, like he believed what he saying.

I didn't respond, just looked at him a moment longer, then got up and crawled around, determined to find a way down. I found a pile slightly smaller than the others, so I decided to climb down. Except that the bags were slippery and the top few fell down, taking me with them. I fell down off the pile, bracing myself for contact with the floor, but instead I fell into a pair of arms. I looked up into Walter's smug face. I gasped then scowled. Stupid boy.

I rolled out of his arms and placed my feet on the floor. I walked to the counter to get my purse and made my way the door. Of course, Walter got there before me and didn't let me out. He stood blocking the doorway with his hulking yet lean figure, and said, "Azalea, just let me prove it to you. I can show you I'm not lying." I scowled up at him. "What, are you gonna put me on top of the Sears' Tower this time?" He grinned mischievously and took me in his arms abruptly. I was about to push him away when the pet shop disappeared. And in its place was the very top of a skyscraper. I gasped violently and clung to Walter's shirt. He didn't say anything, just held me. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. Did he take my request seriously?

"Holy shit," I whispered, totally paralyzed. The rooftop was huge and we were somewhere in the middle of it. It was extremely windy so my white-blonde hair whipped around our faces wildly. I stared around at our surroundings wide-eyed and weak-kneed, but Walter supported me in his arms. As we stood on the roof of the fucking Sears' Tower, it occurred to me that Walter could not have staged this. This was real. He may be lying about the god thing but he was not human; or he was super-human, whatever. I looked up at him in jaw-dropping wonder. How could this even be possible? He looked down at me, his eyes now a very dark blue, waiting for me to say something. I gaped like a fish for a few moments more. "How the hell did you do that?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off. "No wait. Don't answer that. Take me back to the pet shop. I'm freezing my ass off." I had goose bumps all over my body and my teeth were beginning to chatter. My fingers and toes were numbing and the wind was awfully harsh. He smiled down at me and put his arms around my waist again and the next second we were in the shop. I stood for a moment, gathering my bearings, when I realized how close we were. His soft blonde hair was wind-blown and he looked at me warily, like he was afraid I would run. Honestly, at the moment, I was totally considering it. I looked back at him. Expect I didn't the sad Walter from before me or the Walt I knew as my boyfriend; I saw a man who was even more powerful and mysterious than before. For a split second, I was afraid of this face I loved more than myself.

Walter looked down upon me in concerned sadness. He could see the fear and confusion warring on my face. "Azalea?"

I blinked up at him, the fear diminishing slightly, but still remaining in the back of my head. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I furrowed my brow. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Do you believe me now?"

I gave one short laugh that was devoid of humor and said, "I believe that you're not human. But that whole god business…you're really going to have to prove that."

He chuckled. "I can now if you'd like…"

I looked at him nervously. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to take you somewhere, like I just did…but this time, I'm going to take you to my home. My real home."

I took his offered hands warily. "Will it be warm?"

Walter smiled lovingly down at me. "Yes, it will be perfect."

As soon as I nodded my assent, we disappeared from the shop and flashed somewhere else.

My jaw dropped as I took in my surroundings.

It was not any place on earth, this much was obvious. We were in what roughly resembled a ballroom…no, a throne room. In the center of the huge room stood a circle of thrones. Perhaps 15 or 20. They were all decorated differently. And in odd ways. Like the one that looked like plants growing from the ground. It was dark, but the light of the huge moon lit it in a romantic way. The floor wasn't visible; there was almost a light-blue fog to it. And you could barely see your feet through it. Oddly, it reminded me of tangible moonlight. The walls were like roughly cut diamond and the windows were as tall the ceiling and framed in gold molding. The columns and ceiling all had this intricate gold as well. It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen.

"Is this real? Where are we?" I whispered in awe. I looked at Walter and when I saw him, lit by this beautiful blue, I swore he was an angel. His hair and skin and eyes all seemed to fit this place; the gold and blue. He looked gorgeous. In my curiosity I had strayed from where he stood, so I walked over to him now. I took his hands in mine and watched his face. He looked at me in the way I had always wanted someone to look at me; like I was their sun, the only one who mattered, their love. His perfect blue eyes were a sweet, soft blue in the moonlight. I ran my fingers underneath his eyes softly.

He laughed slightly on an exhale so it came out like an amused huff. I bit my lip. "It's Olympus and it's as real as you and me."

"You and me," I repeated with a smile. I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear and looked up at him through my lashes innocently. I blinked and bit my lip. I watched as the composure left his face and he finally asked, or begged, "Can I please kiss you?"

I parted my lips and when they were an inch from his, I whispered teasingly, "nope." He huffed in disappointment but his curved lips broke into a little smile. It was early in the morning so I should have been exhausted but I wasn't; too much stimulation. And kissing him would be the ultimate stimulus.

"Can I show you something, then?"

I pursed my lips to the side but I nodded, unsure of what 'showing me something' meant. He took my hand and pulled me to a stately set of stairs leading off the throne room. The staircase led to a long hall that I discovered upon looking outside the window, was actually a bridge. A tall bridge covered in beautiful vines in bloom, that didn't seem to hit the ground at any particular point; the supports just kept going down into the moonlit fog. The same fog from the throne room. It was just like the other parts of the house, building, palace, whatever, was pretty much the same and just as beautiful. The blue, moonlit hall led to a grand doorway with the intricate gold trim, again, around the edge. I blushed as we walked through the large doors. It was a master bedroom. Fit for two. A very commodious two apparently. I stood in the door way admiring the room as his long legs kept walking to the balcony, expecting me to follow. It was not like any other master I'd ever seen. Just like the rest of the place, there was a light fog on the ground that actually poured over the bottoms of doorways and the balcony like water. The tall columns with their gold crown molding and the gold tiles on the ceiling were there. But there was a magnificent dressing table by the wall, a creamy white color that had been carved to look like vines and flowers. There was a silver hair brush and jewelry box that looked like something a younger Azalea would dream of owning. I walked over to the table and gently placed my fingers on the brush. In my head, I saw the girl, the one like me, brushing out her extremely long blonde hair in front of the mirror, humming a tune to herself. I blinked, pulling my hand away and the vision disappeared from behind my eyelids. It was like when Walter touched me and I saw how upset she was. I didn't gasp or react at all, for fear of Walter asking questions. It was my turn to ask the questions, not his. I looked at the fine bristles of the brush and found a piece of hair. It was blonde. I turned to look at the bed. It didn't quite give me the same satisfaction as the dressing table. I knew instinctively that Calliope had lived here with him. I really hated the idea of touching the bed. God knows what I'd see. Ick.

I walked away from the room and moved towards the balcony, which was about the size of my bedroom in Chicago, to where Walter stood with both hands solidly placed on the thick railing, his shoulders bracing his weight. I placed my long, thin fingers on his shoulders and I watch as he instantly relaxes and turns to face me. I wrapped my arms around his midsection and leaned my head on his chest, closing my eyes. He wrappped his arms around me in a way that suggested he would never let me out if he had the option. He laid a gentle kiss on my head and placed his head on top of mine so I was in a big, warm Walter Bundle. I smiled and hummed happily. He laughed and pulled away, but kept an arm around my hips. He turned us to the view of the balcony. My jaw dropped. Again.

We were literally gazing upon the earth; like we were in space looking down on it. I couldn't see all of it, just a part that looked like the U.S. It was brightly light but you could the ocean and water clearly.

"Walter? What is this?" I whispered, amazed.

He smiled at me, clearly used to the sight. "It is humanity. From here you can see everything and anyone you want. You can only see an objective view of the earth but I can see everything, because I am a god. Think of it like Google Maps—" I giggled. "What?" He said.

"Gods use Google Maps?"

"I have seen others use it," he said defensively. I tried to hold back another laugh but slipped out a bit. He rolled his eyes at me but I could tell he thought it was funny too. "Anyway, you can zoom in and out, to see a specific city or even a specific person. It's very useful if I'm trying to keep an eye on someone."

He winked at me and I raised an eyebrow. "Is that how you found me tonight?"

He grimaced slightly and looked down at the extraordinary sight below us. "Yes. With that disgusting boy."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything.

"So did you and Calliope live here together?" I asked, nonchalantly, though I peeked up at him innocently, wanting to see his expression.

He looked mildly uncomfortable. I guess I would too if I brought my current girlfriend to the old home of my ex and I. His perfect mouth curved down at the corners, just a slight pull and it was gone. "Yes."

"Were you married?"

"Yes."

"Did you have kids?"

He hesitated. "…yeah."

"How many?"

"Two."

"Oh. Cool." Cool? Seriously, Taz? That's so not cool.

"How old are you?" I asked, changing the subject. I leaned by back against the railing, facing him slightly.

"Older than I look."

I gave him a look. A slight turning down of my head so I was looking up under my raised eyebrows at him, a little half-smile peeked on my lips.

He tried to look serious but a laugh escaped him. "Seriously. I don't have a number if that's what you want."

"How 'bout an estimate?" He was dodging me question.

He sighed. "Three thousand, five hundred and seventy-two…I guess."

My mouth popped open slightly. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, looking out thoughtfully at all the humans he could supposedly see.

"Damn. I thought you'd go all Edward Cullen on me and be like one hundred. A thousand? Jeez…. Does it get boring?"

"What?" he asked with his brow furrowed.

"Living. Do you ever wish it would end?"

He looked at me curiously, contemplating. "Yeah, I guess. I never really thought about it."

I took a deep breath, realized I was exhausted and leaned my head back and groaned. "I'm sooo tired," I whined.

He chuckled. "Would you like to sleep here or at your home?"

"I should probably go home so I can let my dog out or—"

"I can go get Ky while you are sleeping, he can stay here with you. And tomorrow, you may continue your interrogation of me."

I set my head on my shoulder so I was smiling up at him sideways. "Okay. But you have to give me a piggy-back ride, Mr. I'm-A-Super-Buff-God."

He rolled his eyes but he let me climb on his back. As he walked through the opening to the bedroom, he mumbled, "I never said being a god made you…'buff'." I giggled against his shoulder.

Even though I was the happiest I had been since I left him, I didn't want to forget that he slept with another woman. I needed to remain aware of him and what he's capable of. But at the same time I wanted to forgive and forget. I think that was important, especially with Walter, who wasn't very good at reaching out emotionally. But how do I know he won't do it again?

Walter gave me some time to use the master bathroom, which was huge, much like mine at home, but even bigger. I wanted to take a bath in the claw-footed bathtub that sat gracefully in the center of the room but I was so tired that I just washed my face and brushed my teeth. I contemplated brushing my hair but remembered Calliope's hair brush and decided not to rummage for one.

I walked out of the bathroom in a t-shirt Walter had given me. It was his so it fit me like a dress. He was sitting on the bed, acoustic guitar in lap, humming along with his tune. I halted, watching him. I stood in the thin, grey V-neck tee that made it obvious I didn't have a bra on. My mile-long legs suck out the bottom of the tee; he didn't really have any pants that would fit me. My buttery-blonde hair had lost its straightness and was now in big, beautiful waves. I must admit, I loved my hair. I'll have to thank my mom or dad for it…oh, right—I don't know them.

Walter's song was slow and soft, and after a few moments his humming became mumbled lyrics. I smiled at him. He looked up and did a double take when he saw me.

"Am I sleeping in here?"

He nodded absentmindedly. He was still staring at me. I suddenly felt like prey being too close to a deadly predator. What the hell was I doing? I was getting into bed with the beast. I knew what he had in mind, I just didn't know if he—or I—should act on it.

I walked to the side of the bed to his right. I picked up the thick blanket and crawled under it, hoping I didn't flash any skin. I put my hands between my head and the pillow, like I was praying. I blinked up at Walter. He looked down at me, and I could see the internal war on his face. The fact that I would be happy whether he tried to have sex with me or didn't, scared the shit out of me. After about thirty seconds, he finally tore himself from my gaze and stood. Placing the guitar against the wall, he kissed my forehead, said goodnight and walked out of the door silently. I fell asleep before he came back with Ky.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke the next morning to the sound of feminine voices and the feeling of a dog licking my face. I felt momentarily as though I was in my apartment in Chicago. I opened my eyes slowly. My eyelids felt like they weighed ten pounds and my body felt sluggish. It took me a minute to gather my bearings and remember that I was still in Walter's room. I felt Ky in the crook of my arm licking me awake like every other day. Last night wasn't a dream then….

But who did those voices belong to? My vision finally came into focus and I noticed two women gazing down at me from above, like I was a zoo animal. I gasped, tensing, and sat up against the head board, pulling the blanket up over my chest in case the shirt had slip down in my sleep. The one on my left was a brunette hair that was pin-straight and super long. She had a beautiful, exotic face and tan skin. She was crazy muscular, too. The girl on my right had thick, auburn hair that was currently in a messy braid. She had a similar face that was absolutely gorgeous. They both looked like freaking angels.

"Who the hell are you?" I said, appalled. My head was aching and my heart was beating fast from being awoken so suddenly.

They both exchanged looks. The red head's eerie blue to the brunette's black. They gazed at me curiously. The brunette spoke first, in a low, calm voice. "You really don't know who we are?" I crumpled my brow and shook my head slowly. Was I supposed to?

And then it hit me: they thought I was Calliope. I didn't even have to ask Walter if I looked like her, I knew for sure now. Calliope must have known these women. They exchanged another look.

The red head smiled suddenly and put out her hand, "I'm Irene." I shook her hand awkwardly since I was too stunned to perform simple tasks like a hand shake. "I'm Azalea," I said quietly.

The brunette stuck out her hand and said curtly, "Ella." I shook her hand. Not very friendly, were we?

Irene looked at Ella, who was staring uncomfortably close, then me and said warmly, "We apologize for intruding. We thought you were someone else."

I ignored Ella's eyes and said simply, "Calliope?"

The both looked surprised and Ella's glare finally left my face. At least for a moment. "How do you know that name?" Ella said hotly.

I tried not to let it bother me and said, "Walter spoke of her. I guess I look like her or something." I shrugged like it was nothing.

"What did you and Walter do last night?" Ella asked crudely. Irene gasped and hit her on the arm lightly. Azalea watched with wide-eyes.

Ella's pretty face crumbled in anger and opened her mouth to say something but the door opened abruptly. Both women scrambled to a standing position.

Walter was carrying a tray with breakfast and kicked the door closed behind him. When he saw the woman around my bed his brow crumpled and he glared at them for a few moments and when they didn't move, he said, "Get out." They both sighed and left, like kicked puppies. Irene threw me one last curious glance when she left the room. They left the door open. I smiled at Walter. "You brought me breakfast?" He ignored my question and asked, "What were they doing in here?"

I shrugged and plainly, "They were wondering who I was."

He sighed and brought my food over. My stomach growled. "I should have never told my sisters about you," he mumbled.

"Those were your sisters?" I didn't even know he had sisters…

He laughed bitterly "No, but my sisters must have told them. I should have known better."

"Oh. Then who were they?"

Walter looked mildly uncomfortable but he covered it up after a moment. "They…umm, they're…well, they're my daughters." I raised my eyebrows once. "Oh. Umm…how? They look the same age as you."

He smiled. "When you live to be how old we are, age becomes irrelevant."

"Oh," I said again, slightly confused. I wanted to assume their mother was Calliope but it didn't sit right with me. "Is Calliope their mother?" I asked lightly.

He motioned to the food on my lap; it was eggs, orange juice, a pancake, and hash-browns. "Eat your food before it gets cold." He was avoiding the question again but considering that my stomach was yelling at me, I let it slide. I tried the eggs first. I didn't even realize how hungry I was. As I ate, Walter placed a piece of clothing, wrapped in plastic, on the bed. I asked what it was.

"A dress. I figure you'd like to get out of that t-shirt at some point today."

"Well, thank you." I smiled, still eating.

He picked up his guitar again and began to play a familiar song next to me. It wasn't until he got to the chorus that I realized it was "What Do You Want" by Jerrod Niemann. I watched him for a long while. He smiled at me every now and again, completely fine with being the center of attention. Ky moved around the room like crazy. He was so excited about all the new stuff. When I was done with my food and Walter was done with his music, he offered to continue our 'interrogation'. I smiled and sat across from him, cross-legged. He sat against the grand headboard of the four-poster bed, with his legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. With his head back on the headboard, he looked so at peace. The difference between this man and the one I met four months ago was astonishing. I thought about all the things I hadn't asked him and could come up with quite a list.

I tucked my hair behind my ear. "What do you do here? What's your…job, I guess?"

"Well, As King of the Gods, I—"

"You're a king,too?!"

He chuckled. "Yes, I am. Though not the kind that wears a crown and signs documents."

"Woah…okay, sorry. Keep going."

"As the king, I rule over the gods and goddesses, making sure there is order between them. As ruler over humanity, I try to make sure they are…relatively safe. Though, that task is becoming more and more difficult as time goes on. Especially now."

"Why?" I asked quickly.

"Well, humans are much more independent these days. They don't rely on gods and goddesses anymore. But it's especially difficult now because I am without a queen." He tried to say this matter-of-fact, but a quiet sadness crept into his voice again. I frowned. Oh, Walt. I crawled on my hands and knees to him and laid on my stomach atop him, with my head on his sternum, looking up at him. "Was Calliope your queen?" I asked gently.

He looked down at me warmly. "Yes. She was not a very good one when she died though."

"What do you mean?" He talked about her like she walked on water.

He was quiet for a moment, as if thinking of what to say. "She was an extremely jealous woman. Even from the beginning; and I mean the beginning. Calliope and I had been wed for thousands of years. But her jealousy drove her off the edge and she did…horrible things."

"Like what?" I asked quietly.

"She killed someone."

"Who?"

He grew quiet. Pain flashed across his face but it was gone before I could even tell if it was real. "My daughter, Ava."

I frowned and sat up so I was straddling his waist. His brow was crumpled in a few places so I placed my fingers on it, hoping to smooth them away, but they stayed. I pulled his head into my arms and he let me hold him to my chest. After a few minutes, when I think I had started to dose off, he pulled away and sat up on the headboard, dry eyed but still unhappy.

I knew I shouldn't be asking at this time but a question that had been bugging me for the longest time came back to me. "Walter?" He didn't look up at me but hummed in question. I gazed down at him.

"What reason did Calliope have for being jealous?" My voice was hushed. I didn't want to ask the question but I had to know. I hadn't come all this way with him for nothing.

He didn't meet my eyes when he said numbly, "I slept with other women. Repeatedly."

Oh no. My mind instantly went haywire. This was exactly what I was afraid of. That was why he wouldn't tell me if Calliope was Irene and Ella's mother. Because she wasn't; one of his other mistresses probably had them. Did this mean he would cheat on me again? I mean, if he cheated on his wife for so long, what if I wasn't any different? Hell, what if I was the other woman? Maybe he had some other frickin' wife somewhere and I was sitting around with her husband? Oh God….

My head was running in circles but then it all instantly stopped and revolved one soothing, calm thought: If he cheats on you again, just leave. Don't stick around like the last one. That's what he wants. So simple; at least for now. When, and if, the time came to leave, it would hurt very much. Maybe even more than last time.

"How long?"

"What do you mean?"

"How long? How long did the affairs last?" I said, almost shouted. It probably showed on my face anyway, but I was afraid. So afraid of the uncertainty that never seemed to cease with this man. It wasn't the uncertainty of being replaced; it was the fear of losing the only love I've ever had. It was the uncertainty of knowing the truth from a lie. As I girl, I was very to myself and loved to wander. After school, I would walk around Chicago by myself, going places that were new. It was exciting and I wasn't afraid. But I was suddenly afraid and uncertain. Of Walter.

He answered me in a defensive, almost sarcastic tone. "Well, if it helps you, I had an affair about two years after Calliope and I married, that resulted in my twins. One of which you met today. Ella." I blinked, taken aback by his tone. He had sat up now and all evidence of his earlier vulnerability gone. "And the last affair I had had been with a human that resulted in a demi-god with an exceptional ability for the future. Lydia." He almost spat the name at me. I flinched and stopped breathing. Lydia was only about fifty. So Walter had the affair long ago. If Lydia was Walter's daughter—which I found so odd, considering she seemed thirty-years his senior—then what were they fighting about that day at Littlehales'?

"When did Calliope die?" I asked quietly, not wanting him to be so angry. What right did he have? He's the one that cheated on his wife.

"Twenty years ago last summer."

Well shit. That meant that he had an affair with Lydia's mother even when Calliope was alive. More importantly, I was turning twenty-one this February, so Calliope died less than a year before I was born. The idea of reincarnation popped into my head. I pushed it away. That's crazy.

As crazy as demi-gods and Mountains like Google Maps?

Shut up, subconscious, I thought crankily.

I wonder if Lydia knew who I really was; an odd imitation of Walter's ex-wife—maybe she had even met Calliope before and recognized me. Maybe I was a clone, a replacement. At least now I knew that Calliope wasn't my sister considering she was born thousands of years ago. Although a part of me wanted her to be; maybe she would have known the identity of at least one of our parents. I had grown up my entire life not having a biological mother. I was used to it. But little part of me had always ached to know who she was. That faceless woman who either thought I was better off without her or she was better off without me. I had dreams of her as a child. I always thought she had my hair, but I didn't think she looked like me. I had these pictures in my head of her barging into the foster home, smiling at me, picking me up and taking me home, away from the other kids. But she never did.

So when I was about six or seven, I had the horrible realization that mommy probably wasn't coming back for little Azalea. It was around that time that I had innocently asked my foster parent who had found me and when they told me, I walked to Littlehales' the very next day. And ever since that day, when Gran and Pops hugged me and gave me a chocolate milk—and when Charlie got jealous and stole it from me—I had given up on my elusive family. I had found my real family. And my friends. Lydia being among them.

Lydia. I snapped back into reality, realizing Walter was looking up at me curiously. I didn't bother saying anything. I just got up off him and picked up the clothing, running into the bathroom. I started the bath, slipped out of Walter's t-shirt and watched numbly as the water filled the tub around me. I sat with my arms loosely holding my knees. I half-expected Walter to walk into the bathroom, and say something, anything, to make it all better. But he never did.

I came out of the bathroom quite a while later in the white sundress Walter had chosen for me. It was long sleeved, flowed all the way down to my ankles and fit like a glove. It had cups in the chest so despite not having any underwear, I was all good. My wet blonde hair fell heavily to my waist. I finally dismissed my inhibitions and found a brush. It was wonderful to be clean and dressed appropriately again.

I walked out of the bathroom, expecting Walter to be on the bed playing guitar again or pacing the floor with Ky at his heels. But he wasn't there. The room was empty except for a happy, tail-wagging Ky on the bed.

I pulled on my black flats and figured I'd do some exploring. I considered not doing so since other people clearly lived here but what was I supposed to do? Wait patiently for Walter to return when he deemed fit? Uh-uh. That wasn't me.

Ky ran toward the end of the hall the moment I opened the door. I panicked slightly, expecting to lose him but he ran right back to me when he reached the end of the hall. He continued to trot circles around me and put his front paws up on the window sills, looking out at the strange, new land. I smiled to myself. Oh, how nice it would be to have the simple mind of a dog. Eat, sleep, play, shit and repeat. Mine was more like: eat when you can remember, go to work, feed your dog so he can continue on with his day, think about your abusive ex, learn something crazy about him, and repeat. Did you really think he was abusive? Well, not physical and I'm not sure he's doing it on purpose but he's definitely fucking with my head.

The entire place looked supremely different in the sunlight. It was all gold light and blue skies. The fog was now like moving sunlight and the gold molding seemed to glow. The crystal walls and tall, clear windows reflected the sun all over. It was even more beautiful that what it looks like at night. Ky and I walked for very long while. I didn't open any doorways, for fear of intruding on anyone's private room. There were so many halls and little things that caught my eye, it was amazing. There were so many birds and so many different kinds. I thought I saw a peacock at some point, but before I could get a better look, Ky's bark scared it off.

Throughout our little walk, we didn't run into anyone, which I found odd. Ky stood by my side almost the entire time, but when we reached yet another corridor, he started barking like crazy and bolted into the farthest room on the right hand side. I called his name but he paid no heed to my voice. I ran after him, into the room, which was a huge bedroom, yet not quite as opulent as Walter's. The door was open so I just followed him in, forgetting my non-trespassing goal. I walked in to see Ky jumping on top of the big bed in the middle of the room. There were two other dogs on the bed already and my heart literally skipped a beat when I realized there was a man on the bed as well. And he was shirtless. Awkward. I gasped. "I am so sorry! KY, COME HERE NOW. He just loves other people, I'm so sorry! KY, I SWEAR TO GOD," I exclaimed, simultaneously speaking to the man and the dog. I walked into the room quickly, trying to drag him away—despite not having a collar—from the alarmed dogs. They looked like some kind of mastiff and they were absolutely gorgeous. The one that barely raised his head when Ky barged in was black and huge. The other, a funny polka-dotted dog, stood to meet Ky and had his floppy ears up as high as they would go. He was adorable and I liked him instantly when he sniffed butts with Ky peacefully. The man on the bed was laughing—thank god—and reached a hand out to rub Ky's head. I called Ky one last time and he finally spared me a glance. I took advantage of his attention and tapped my chest, saying in an excited voice, "come 'er, boy. Up, up." He ran over excitedly, the other dog watching him go sadly. Ky jumped into my open arms and I held him like a too-big child.

I stood a few feet from the foot of the bed, and apologized profusely for Ky's behavior. But I halted seeing the way he was looking at me. He looked surprised to see me, but also afraid, like he was seeing a ghost. I blushed and looked down at the ground uncomfortably. I had gotten this look too many times in the past few months to really be surprised to be in the receiving end of it yet again. As I peeked up at the man's face again, I did a double take. He had jet black hair and silver eyes the color of moonlight. He had Luce and Milo's eyes. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion but didn't voice it aloud; I didn't want to seem crazy.

He continued to stare at me awkwardly for a few more moments when a door to the right opened and a girl stepped out. She was cute, borderline gorgeous. She had thick, light brown, wavy hair down to her waist and had on a yellow sundress. When she looked up to look at me, I saw blue eyes that were gut-wrenchingly familiar. She looked at me, just as startled as the other man. She looked like she was in the process of putting on a necklace but dropped it when she saw me. "Henry, what's going on?" She whispered, stunned. The man, Henry, just shook his pretty head, finally putting on a shirt. I looked down between the floor and their fiery gazes, hugging Ky to me like I could hide behind his gold fur.

I was about to dismiss myself when Ky whimpered and scrambled out of my grasp, jumping to the floor, and booking it to the door. I gasped, expecting another chase down the halls, but when I turned I found Walter walking through the doorway with my pup already in his arms. I halted. What mood was he in now?

He walked up next to me, but did not touch, just stood. "Henry, Kate," He nodded at them. He looked stressed. "This is Azalea. Azalea, this is Henry, my brother and his wife, Kate." I noticed how he introduced the man as brother and the girl as his wife—like Walter had no relations to the girl. She had to be another daughter; I could see it in her eyes. Eyes that were no longer gawking but they shifted to me periodically.

"Hi, sorry about my dog," I said, shrugging. I wasn't sure how these people knew Calliope but they obviously weren't happy she was back. Or I was back. Or whatever.

Henry shook off the shock faster than Kate and walked up to me with a smile that was clearly trying to rectify the situation. He put out his hand and said, "I apologize, you look like someone we—"

"Calliope. I know."

He seemed a bit confused that I knew that but smiled reassuringly again. "Well, It's very nice to see you here," He threw a look up to Walter, like he directed the statement at him, rather than me. He turned to his wife and gestured her to come to his side. He put a comforting arm around the girl. I expected her to say something but she didn't. I stuck out my hand and said good-naturedly, "I don't bite."

She widened her obnoxiously Walter-like eyes, smiled weakly, but shook my hand firmly none-the-less. "Sorry, I—I just didn't have good standing with Calliope."

I nodded. Nobody seemed to. "Then you have nothing to worry about; I'm not her."

Kate nodded, relaxing. "What was that noise by the way? I heard barking and yelling," She directed the question to her husband but I answered, "Ky ran into the room, probably smelling your dogs and jumped on your bed. By the way, your dogs are beautiful! What breed?"

Henry and Kate smiled proudly and Kate said, "Pogo, the black and white one, is a Great Dane and Cerberus, the black one, is a Cane Corso."

I smiled widely. I had only met one a Cane Corso once before and it was a mutt, but the black one was clearly purebred and absolutely stunning. At the sound of his name, Pogo, ran over clumsily and licked Kate's hand. When he came over to me with his big blue eyes, I smiled like dork and said, "Hiiiii, sweety." He wiggled tail as I rubbed his head. Ky squirmed in Walter's arms, wanting to be with the other dogs. Walter set him down nicely and he trotted to Pogo and they started nipping and playing with each other. I didn't notice how quiet Walter was being until now. I looked up at him while everyone was watching the dogs play. He still looked unhappy and frustrated. I frowned. "Are you okay, Walt?" I felt bad about fighting with him. I wanted to skip all this bullshit and go straight to when we were happy and together. He looked at me and sighed heavily. "I don't know, Az." I looked up at him sadly. I hated seeing him sad. His hands were in the pockets of his cargo shorts, low on his hips, showing the waistband of his underwear. Yum… I put my right arm around his waist innocently, pretending to watch the dogs with Henry and Kate. I snuck my hand down the waistband of his shorts and slid my hand over his finely sculptured ass. When he finally smiled reluctantly, looking down at me, completely un-surprised, I took my arm off him and called Ky over. When Walter and I said our goodbyes and walked out, I held his hand in mine. He didn't complain, in fact, he held my hand so tight it was almost uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. On our walk back to the bedroom, I asked, "Is Kate your daughter, too?"

He looked up with a defensive look on his face, like he was going to lie, but when I gave him a look that said, 'don't bother', he relented and said, "Yeah."

"Who's her mother?"

"Diane."

"Does she live here too?"

"…yes."

"Oh."

"But it wasn't romantic. She's as much as my sister as Henry is my brother. She just wanted a child and I helped."

"Oh. Do you usually have kids with your siblings?" I asked, confused.

"No, brothers and sisters is the only thing we can think of to describe the relationship we have with each other. If it helps you, Diane is Demeter. Henry is Hades. Calliope was Hera."

"Wait—didn't you say you were Zeus at some point? Doesn't that make Hera—or Calliope—your sister?"

He hesitated. "Kind of. Again, we weren't biologically related. We were literally created. So, marrying each other isn't quite as odd as you may think."

"Ah. Did you all have parents?"

"Yes. Our mother was Rhea and our father was Cronus. They both created us. Though, neither were the parent figures you would imagine. They were very cold and calculating; not at all human."

My mind was trying to wrap my head around all of it. "So what happened to them? In the myths, didn't the Greeks overthrow the Titans?"

"We did. Cronus ruled over everyone, even our mother. We weren't children to them, we were toys. So when we were older, we realized the pain he was inflicting on humans, even us, and overthrew them. Obviously it wasn't that simple but we were successful. We let Rhea and the other Titans go peacefully and they still remain so to this day. But Cronus did not so we had to lock him in Tartarus; In the Underworld—Henry's domain. He remained there for thousands of years until recently. Calliope helped Cronus escape so she could get revenge on me, Henry and even Kate."

"Why them?"

Walter sighed. "Calliope fell in love with Henry many years ago…but being that she was still wed to me and that Henry did not love her that way, she did not get her way. Obviously she was very upset when he married Persephone and then Kate."

"Persephone? Wasn't she kidnapped by Hades?"

Walter chuckled. "No. That's what humans thought had happened. Really, Persephone just didn't love Henry as much as he did her. Finally, after a thousand years, Persephone found someone she would die for. So she became mortal and remains in the Underworld with him to this day. Persephone was also Diane and I's daughter, so she was Kate's sister." Another daughter. Lovely. "The Council tried to find him a new wife. A human. All of the girls had to take tests fit for a god-The Goddess Test. After eleven of the girls were killed mysteriously, Diane decided to make a daughter whom she could raise to be a good queen for Henry. So she had my child. Kate.

"We discovered that Calliope was the one that killed all these girls when she killed Kate. Henry obviously brought her back, and Calliope was punished. She eventually released the Titans which led to her death. And my daughter, Ava's." His tone grew quiet when he said this. I squeezed his hand.

"You said something about a council; what is it?" I tried to change the subject from the girl. I didn't want to talk about Calliope anymore. It made me sad to think about her. I wanted to feel bad for her; she had horrible life. She wasn't completely at fault. If my husband had cheated on me with everyone he set his sights on, including my sister, I would have been pissed too. I don't know if I would go as far as to try to kill my family but I would have taken it out on Walter somehow for sure. I mean, look at what I had done not twelve hours ago; I slept with that other man hoping to piss off Walter, I guess, in my own way. And it worked. Mwahaha.

He blinked and looked back down at me. "Oh, yes, the Council. The Council is basically the elite gods and goddesses. We're like the government over all. Even over your human government."

"Oh." I wondered who else was on the Council. Him, obviously but was Calliope? And how about his daughters that had come into my room this morning?

"Walter?"

"Yes?" He looked down at me curiously.

"Do you…feel bad about what you did? To Calliope?"

"What do you mean?" he said, brow furrowed. Did he really not know?

"Cheating on your wife isn't a very benevolent act, Walter. I'm asking you, do you honestly feel guilty for hurting her?"

He looked at me strangely. We were walking slowly next to each other with Ky a few feet ahead, chasing birds. But I stood in front of him, halting our progression, asking the dreaded question. He looked down at me, surprised and growing frustrated by my temerity. I didn't care. He should really learn to face the music and not be such a bitch about it.

"I don't know. I did it because I wanted to, not knowing how much it would hurt my wife. It would be nice to give a straight 'yes' or 'no' answer to your question but I cant. I love my children."

My face fell and I looked up at him a bit sadly. "Do you regret hurting me?"

His gaze reflected mine. He reached down and intertwined our pinkies, like we used to when we would walk down to Littlehales'. He took a step closer so his eyes were only inches from mine. They were now the color of the sky on a clear, summer day. "Yes."

I closed my eyes, relieved, but also not. He could very well be lying. "You never told me why."

"Why what?" he whispered exasperated. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Why you slept with that woman," I said, hushed. I looked down at my hands.

"Sleeping with 'that woman' was a way for me to be rid of you."

"What?" I asked appalled, jerking my head up to look at him.

He clenched his jaw and shook his head, turning his baby blues away from me. "Once I realized that I was hurting you just by being near you, I had to leave. You were becoming a shell of the woman you were. And it was because of me. I knew that keeping all of this—" He gestured with one arm around the unearthly room, "—from you was eating you alive."

"So why didn't you just tell me?" I had taken a step back from him but he closed the distance between us in one stride and held my wrists in his big hands.

"Because I loved you too much to doom you to an eternity with me!" He shouted passionately. I flinched. "I didn't want to hurt you again, like Calliope. I still don't. Do you think I like hurting people? I just want to be happy, like everyone else, Az. I am not trying to be a bad person." We looked at each other for a while. He was trying to scare me, but it wasn't working. He would have to do a lot more than yell at me.

I didn't move away. I stood my ground. He was testing my boundaries. Well, sadly for him, I had none. "I don't think you're evil, Walter!" I said passionately. "I'm just trying to figure you out. I want to know what goes on in your head. When I look in into you're beautiful blue eyes, I see someone who's lived a long and painful life." My chin trembled and tears left happy trails as they flooded down my cheeks. "When I look into your eyes I see the man that I love."

The mask that he bore slipped and his eyes, as vast as the sky, shone with emotion. He looked at me with the love that I wanted all of my life. And when he crushed his mouth to mine for the first time in weeks, I felt my heart that had shattered as I turned my back on this man, pull itself back together. Despite all of the problems we were now going to have to face, I felt in this moment, like none of them mattered. As long as I had him here with me.

I pulled away and held his face between my hands, wiping away a tear that had escaped his stronghold. I smiled through my happy tears. He smiled beautifully back and suddenly picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his hips, the skirt of my dress making it slightly difficult. I swung my arms around his neck and placed gentle kisses on his lips. It wasn't until he pushed open the doors to his bedroom that I realized that he had been walking us back here. He set me down on the floor, and I stood looking up at his five-inches-taller-than-me height. He took his hands off me, but leaned his face in until he was just barely brushing his lips with mine. "Tell me when to stop," he whispered oh-so-quietly. My entire body shuddered at his words. Oh.

He laid a small kiss at the corner of my mouth and then another on the line of my jaw, then one on the curve of my neck, then my collar bone, and lastly my shoulder.

He then placed the same kisses up my neck in reverse; except this time when he got to my mouth, his big right hand gripped my waist and pushed my body into his. He returned attention to my lips, sliding his tongue against mine smoothly. I moaned, reaching my right hand up to play in his hair and my left down to his hand on my waist. My leftie pushed his hand lower until it was cupping my ass. He moaned at my boldness and deepened the kiss.

Ceasing the kiss but remaining close enough that our lips touched, he looked at me with a lovingly intensity. As he watched me, I ran the tip of my tongue over his lips for a moment. He sighed lightly and placed his hand on my shoulder, where the neckline of my dress was. Watching my face for any signs of rejection, he hooked his thumb slowly under the material. Walter raised his eyebrow in question, asking for permission. I nodded once, a small tilt of my head down. Keeping his eyes on what his fingers were doing, he pulled the shoulder off my dress, making it fall to the floor like water. I was completely bare, when he was fully clothed. His greedy eyes fell down my body slowly; I shivered, even though no part of him was in contact with my naked skin.

I was breathing heavily but my heart wasn't pounding like it usually does with other men. I was calm and at peace, like I knew this was going to happen; like I had already done it before. He finally raised a finger and dragged it softly from my cheek to my neck, between my breasts, down my navel but stopped before it reached between my legs. The chill in the air and the anticipation his fingers created caused my nipples to harden and goose bumps to spread across my skin. I released a small breath from my lungs in bliss. Oh, I had waited months for this.

He continued his game of lets-fuck-with-Azalea's-head-until-she-wants-to-fuck-your-brains-out until I really wanted to fuck his brains out.

I moaned and smacked Walter's chest when he started to lick my breasts. "You're such a tease, Walt."

He chuckled breathily and finally stood. "Okay, fine, your turn." He was still wearing all of his clothes; I planned to rectify that situation.

I placed my hands underneath his shirt and ran my hands over the soft chest hair that I knew from memory was dark blonde. I lifted his shirt over his upraised arms slowly. His arrogant but beautiful almond shaped blue eyes appraised me, amused. I stood with my face not an inch from his, challenging his arrogance, as I unzipped his pants and pushed them to the ground, leaving him in his boxer-briefs. Mmm. I took his hand in mine, walking him toward the bed. I sat at the foot of the bed, naked and looked up at his face as I pulled down his underwear.

I lay back on the bed as he covered me with his body, kissing my neck. I picked my head up and swept my hand under my hair, spreading it back on the pillow under me. I closed my eyes and gave into his hands.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I supported my head on my right palm, lying on my side with my back to Walt. I had the sheet over me up to my hips, but I was bare from there up. He faced my back and traced lazy circles on my back and sometimes lower. His circles had no decisive pattern, they were just there as an excuse to touch my skin. Poor circles, I thought.

I could see the balcony from Walter's bed. The far end of this 'Mount Olympus' bumped out so you could see it from this end. I watched, mesmerized, as the gold fog fell from the doors and windows of the castle-like dwelling, like waterfalls, never ending. It was fell and fell and fell straight down into what looked like clouds. Clouds that reflected the sunlight in such a way that was almost dazzling. As I lounged in the afterglow of Walter's love making, I wondered what of all of this meant. What did I do with this knew-found information? Was I supposed to be with Walter now that I knew about this secret life? Was I supposed to be a part of it? I thought of Charlie and Gran. My family. If I was going to be with Walter now, I wanted to tell them, especially Charlie. They would deserve to know what I was doing, who my boyfriend really was.

Boyfriend?

Maybe.

"Walter?" I asked, content curiosity on my tongue.

"Yes, love?" Still drawing circles. My lips turned up faintly. I missed that little endearment.

"Do you ever…" I was going to ask if they ever told humans about their existence but I realized that was a stupid question considering the Greeks worshipped them thousands of years ago. "I mean... what do I tell Gran and Charlie? Do I keep this all a secret?" But I didn't want to, considering Walter kept it from me and I hated it. I wouldn't want to hurt my family that way. His circles slowed and got wider but didn't stop.

"That is your decision. We have no strict rules on keeping our lives a secret. We all know who to trust to not tell other humans. But you must decide if your family can burden the weight of such knowledge."

"Should I tell them?" I whispered, turning so I was on my back, ceasing his circles. "I know they can keep that a secret for me but…will I need to tell them? I mean, will you and I…be together long enough for it to even matter if I told them?" I said the word quiet and hesitantly. Bringing up topics like this was difficult but someone had to; he sure as hell wouldn't.

He lay on his back as well, so were both looking up at the gold ceiling thoughtfully. He sighed. "I wouldn't know, Az. All I can tell you is that if I had my way, you'd never leave my side."

My chest squeezed my lungs in one quick, panicky motion. Never leave his side? Sure, that sounds great in theory but I'm not the kind of woman that can be kept as arm candy. I'm claustrophobic. I hate being bound to one place. I'm the one that freaked out when the kids at the foster home tried to push me into the tiny closet at the end of the hall because they thought it was a good hiding spot. I didn't last two seconds. How could I be bond to one man for eternity? I mean, I couldn't even fathom marriage. It was pointless to me. It was just evidence that you were together for other people to see. Marriage seemed like something I would only do if I was on my death bed, just to see what it's like.

"No, no, no," I gasped, sitting up quickly. "Walter I can't do that."

"What?" He asked, confused. He sat up with me, putting a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. It wasn't working.

"Marry you. You can't expect me to—to do that. I've never wanted to get married. I just want to be with you but not that way, Walt. I—" I hadn't realized I had gotten off the bed to pace the room until Walter got up and put his hands on my arms, making me stop.

"—Woah! Hey, I never said anything about putting a ring on your finger, Azalea." Even his soothing accent couldn't calm her at the moment. He looked at me in confusion but it was confusion that said, What the hell is wrong with you? not a polite, What's goin' on? I frowned and drew my arms to my body, like I could protect my body from the harmful rays of his judgment. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to relax. I didn't. "You're the one that asked how long I expected us to be together. I'm just telling you I wanted you beside me for as long as possible…unless that not what you want…?" He said it like a question. I didn't know what to say. His expression was so confused and taken aback. And when I didn't say anything, it became sad. "You don't… you don't want to be with me?"

My fell face and I walked toward his receding figure wanting to comfort him more than anything. "NO, Walter that's not what I meant! I'm saying it's hard for me to say I want to be with you forever when I've never been with anyone else for more than a few months. The idea of the rest of my life terrifies me, let alone the idea of telling you that I'll devote my self to you for the rest of my life."

But his expression of betrayal didn't change. Seeing his usually calm face like this broke my heart, once again. I began to cry quiet tears as he walked away into the bathroom, but then they became horrible gut-wrenching sobs that filled the quiet bedroom like a bullet. Oh my god, what's wrong with me? I lay back down on the bed and continued to pour my heart out onto the poor sheets. I was completely under the blankets, still naked and crying when I heard Walter come out of the bathroom. My uncontrollable sobs continued to ring out in the air and when he heard them, he walked over to where I was on the bed. When he pulled the covers up to see me, I hid my face in the sheets, not wanting to look at him. He sighed and crawled into the bed, pulling me to him. He must have gone in the bathroom to get dressed because I could feel his jeans and t-shirt on my skin. He wrapped his big arms around me, my back to his front. I didn't turn around but said so quietly, and shakily, "I'm s—orry." My sobs attacked me midsentence and assaulted my words so they were barely understandable.

Walter leaned closer, over my left shoulder and looked down at me under the covers, "What that?"

My chin trembled and, talking a shuttering breath, I said again, just as quietly because I couldn't seem to make my voice go louder, "I'm sorry." I finally turned on my back and looked up at him. He gazed down at me in a way that suggested he felt as sorry as I. Tears rolled sideways down to my temple and back into my blonde hair, which was mused from our resent activity.

"Why would you be, love?" he whispered sweetly, running his fingers over my swollen lips.

"Because I hurt your feelings," I said childishly. "I never been in love, Walter, you have to give me some leeway. I have no idea what I'm doing; I mean, look at me! I'm a mess." God, I needed sleep or something.

Walter shook his head and tucked my messy hair behind my ear gently, whispering, "You're perfect, don't day things like that."

I sighed but didn't respond to his sweet words. They weren't true anyway. I was nothing. Walter could have any girl in the world and he's choosing me. Why? Because I look like his dead freakin' wife.

I turned back on my side, not looking at him and the next thing I knew I was dreaming.

I woke up feeling like I couldn't breathe. I was sweating and my hair clung to my body in tendrils. Hot air filled my lungs and made me feel like I was faint or throw up. In my haze of waking up, I gasped and sobbed for air. It was until I realized where I was that I recognized the white sheet around me. It stuck to my skin uncomfortably like a second skin. It was over my head, like when I felt asleep. I scrambled away from the blanket, pushing it away and shoving it to the foot of the bed with my feet. I sat in my birthday suit at the head of Walter's bed, trying to regain my sanity. I realized with a shock that no one was in the room with me. Not even Ky. I flashed back to yesterday morning when I woke up to those two girls and Ky. Now I was alone. I got off the bed and happily took a quick shower in his insanely huge bathroom. I found another dress on Walter's bed—a shorter one that reached mid-thigh, had four-finger width straps, and was cream-colored with tiny flowers scattered across it—and put it on. I didn't bring my flats this time because I recalled that some parts of the palace had big, pristine Victorian rugs that probably wouldn't appreciate the dirt.

I exited the royal bedroom into the wide hallway/bridge, walking aimlessly like yesterday morning. Except this time I didn't have Ky knocking down strangers doors. I walked along the right wall, looking out at the golden fog, running my fingers along the graceful gilded trim of the arched windows, which I noticed didn't have actual window glass; they were just spaces cut out of the wall. It must stay warm here all year round. I wouldn't be surprised.

I also noticed the limber vines that swirled across almost every wall and ceiling in this "Olympus". I let my eyes lazily trace the many patterns they created. I walked down the long hall to Walter's room and, in turn, down the wide, winding stairwell to the throne room. I stopped when I saw a large congregation of people gathered around the thrones. Some were seated and some weren't. There was a steady hum of conversation throughout the room that thankfully didn't break when I saw them. I had reached half-way down the stairs, turning to leave, not in the mood to bother any important proceedings, when I heard my name.

"Azalea, my love, come here," I heard Walter say from behind me. His voice was quiet but somehow managed to radiate throughout the entire room, hushing the hum of voices. I turned. He stood gloriously in the center of the thrones, his hands behind his back. I didn't hesitate to walk toward him. I smiled coyly to myself as I remembered how his hands had touched me not twenty-four hours ago. My long legs traveled quickly and silently as I glided barefoot to where he stood. It took me a moment to realize the many eyes watching me but my mind thankfully blocked it all out as I made my journey across the marble floor. He looked happy, despite our emotional discussions last night. I had the sudden urge to go back upstairs with him and leave all these people to themselves while we repeated last night's activities—except without all the talking.

When I came closer to him, he held out his right hand for me. I took it gratefully, loving the way his rough hand felt in my soft one. His blue eyes glittered with a love and appreciation that words could never express. I didn't look around at the faces around me quite yet, afraid of what I'd find there. He kissed my forehead and put his arms around my waist. I finally peeked at the others and recognized Henry and Kate, with their dogs and Ky wrestling nearby. Kate had an arm around a young girl comfortingly, who looked a bit like her. I smiled to them. Kate smiled back but the girl just looked down at her Mary Jane's. I smiled at her adorable shyness.

I noticed Walter's daughters, Ella and Irene, amongst others I didn't know. They didn't gawk at me like the others but they did stare. Walter's arm tightened around me, making me feel less alone in the spotlight. He looked down at me, ignoring everyone else and said in a calm voice, completely undeterred by the spotlight, "Good morning. How did you sleep?" He pushed me into his body with his hands on my waist and looked at me smolderingly; I melted under his gaze.

I smiled, slightly dazed by his beauty, temporarily ignoring the crowd, whose attention was beginning to drift back to each other. "Okay, I guess," I said. I didn't feel the need to tell him I woke up suffocating on a blanket.

He didn't kiss me, thankfully, in front of everyone, but he didn't need to; his eyes did all the work. He appraised me not-so-discreetly and opened his mouth to say something heated, clearly, but was cut off.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" I heard from beside us. Walter's defined jaw clenched slightly and we both turned to look at the boy beside us. He was perhaps my age, with dirty blonde hair like Walter and a beard that was much scruffier than Walter's neatly cropped facial hair. He had a thickly muscled body that rivaled a bull and a deathly glimmer in his black eyes that made me naturally wary of him. But it wasn't enough to scare me off. I met his arrogantly confident eyes with my own. His mouth was in the ghost of a smile, like he was amused and didn't care that the arrogant emotion was oozing from him. I narrowed my eyes. I could already tell he was a hotheaded ass; he reminded me of my brother's stupid old football friends—but worse.

Walter had pulled away from me but kept his hand on my waist. In fact, as he spoke, his hand slipped lower down my back to my ass. I tried to keep my face straight as he introduced us, but it was difficult considering how much he teasing me. I bit my lip to keep from smiling. "Azalea, this is Dylan. Dylan, this is Azalea."

Dylan stuck out his meaty hand for me to shake and I reached for it. But when his fingertips met mine, I gasped, flinching as blood and pain and war flashing behind my eyelids. I pulled my hand from his, feeling like I had just seen some really awful and gruesome horror movie. As I stood flustered, realizing I had had another vision, his arms tightened around me, asking what was wrong.

I blinked up at him. "Nothing." But it wasn't nothing and I could see on his face that he knew it. He furrowed his brow yet kept quiet. I turned back to Dylan, who looked at me with an odd concern. He was a handsome boy but he also seemed like he could rip me in half in a fit of rage. I'll be sure to keep my distance.

"Is everything alright?" he asked warily, his hand still slightly outreached from when I pulled away, like it was shocked in place by my little fit.

I nodded politely, unsmiling. I couldn't seem to; every time I closed my eyes I saw all those dead bodies violently displayed across the back of my eyelids. I shuddered. "It's nice to meet you, Dylan," I lied quietly.


End file.
